Everything Has a Reason
by SilverBlue Shadow
Summary: After Malachor Ezra is full of questions. However, instead of finding the answers to them, things are getting only more and more confusing, and then, frightening. The Darkness isn't willing to give up on Ezra... but neither is his family... or the Force.
1. Chapter 1

Everything has a reason... or not?

 **Hi, everybody!**

 **Sooo... this is my first fanfiction. Well, first in English and posted.**

 **I saw the final episode of season two, and I was like 'What the hell! Is this serious?!' I mean, it was damn good, but... things just didn't add up in my head. You will see this when you read my story, cause it kind of sums all of my questions up.**

 **Like I mentioned before, my first language isn't English. Although I tried to do my best (I know, I know... Do. Or do not. There is not try...), here's my warning: there** **will** **be mistakes. Mostly grammar ones (verb tenses just aren't my thing, I guess). Feel free to point all of them out; this way I can improve, maybe.**

 **This is a one shot, taking place right after The Twilight of the Apprentice, so SPOILERS.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I own nothing that is in connection with the Star Wars Universe. (Except my sister. She has a stuffed Angry Birds Luke.)**

 **On the Ghost**

A whole day.

It's been a whole day since they came back from Malachor, and the Jedi Padawan still had to leave his hiding spot. Nobody saw him, nobody talked with him. Not that they haven't tried for several times yet, because they have... but the boy just ignored them. Kanan, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Rex and even Chopper did their best to coax the troubled hermit into coming out; however none of them got any reaction from the young male. When Kanan taped on their bond, the boy simply and efficiently shut him out; rupturing the unique and powerful connection between them and refusing his Masters's help.

The Jedi was beyond worried. Ezra, in his vulnarable state, can be easily targeted by the Darkness. The warning of the Temple Guard also didn't helped his concerns. If the late Grand Inquisitor was right and the kid's soul is in danger because of a former Sith's plotting... then the Force help them all.

Kanan has remembered the day on that asteroid too well. The lothian child had summoned the giant Frynock to attack the Pau'an. His first brush with the Dark Side on Fort Anaxes had been an unintentional action for surviving. On the other hand couldn't be denied the fact, the Jedi made a mistake in Ezra's training. He hadn't taught him how to handle overhelming emotions, how to let his anger go.

He did another mistake. He underestimated the slumbering power in the boy, the strenght of his connection to the Force. The way he manages to interact with such creatures like the Purgill clearly shows what Kanan has always feared: the day when his knowledge won't be enough to help the other one wasn't far away.

Or maybe it's already arrived.

What Specter Six achived in the Sith Temple was a warning. Bring to life that terrible place required such powers that just a few Jedi had had before. Even if Maul helped the process, Ezra was the one who were able to control the Dark Side. And this time it wasn't used by accident, oh no. The willing, the sense of purpose behind it frightened the Jedi Knight to death.

Master Yoda's words ringed in his ears: 'Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.'

Ezra had been terrified even by the mention of name of Malachor; he didn't want to go to that place and face with the Inquisitors or anything else that may was awaiting them... but he did. He put his brave fascade on and came.

Also, his anger toward Kanan was so evident at that time. Ever since he learned about his parents's death, the boy was turning into a distant, lost creature. He has become deprived of a part of his life he barely even had: his childhood.

At least, Maul. The Zabrak successfully forged the boy's emotions to long for more power, more knowledge... more hate.

'Hate leads to suffering.'

Ezra... he's already suffered so much in his short life! He...

"What the...?!" widdened the Jedi's eyes, grabbing the ladder with his left hand.

A Sith presence here, on the board of the Ghost?!

EZRA! He need to get to him, immediately!

Than... Kanan felt nothing anymore.

 **Ezra's POV**

Ezra wanted to get rid of the Sith holocron so badly! The artifact was nothing but a reminder of the loss they had suffered... but at the same time he felt like he had to keep it. His brain suggested to destroy the pyramid and scatter its debris into the space. However something else in him, that he couldn't put his finger on, demanded to use the holocron, to see the reason of their sacrifice.

The Padawan smoothed his tumb over the edges of the pyramid, marveling at the signs and curves on its surface.

Karabast, why he has to feel like he is going to be ripped to pieces?! More precisely, to two?

He sighed. Whatever happens in the next few minutes, that will be the seal on his fate. Unfortunately, the temptation was too great.

Ezra closed his eyes; his breathing was even and deep as he carefully lifted the barricade that kept his emotions back from breaking loose. Anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, hate and burning desire for revange filled him, wipping everything else out from his head and soul.

'This is it' he thought, 'the power that was so feared by the Jedi.'

His now opened blue orbs became tinted with red for a few seconds, changing its normal vibrant, lively colour to something more dangerous and malicious. He felt like he could fight the whole Galaxy back, including every Sith and former Sith. He could be the hero, the one who stops the rule of the Emperor and sets everyone free.

Ezra looked at the open holocron again, no longer feeling the urgency to throw it away or slash it into half with his lightsaber. Well, if he still would have his lightsaber. But just like so many thing, the parts of his weapon remained on Malachor along with the Crystal. Without the soul of the saber he can't create an other one.

If Darth Vader does something, than he does it to the hilt, there is no doubt about it.

The holocron continued to shed red light, seemingly not being bothered by the teenager's musing thoughts. Although it knew better. The Dark Side's artifact observed everything, waiting for the perfect opportunity to claim the boy and finish what Maul has started: recruiting a new servant for the Siths' case. All it would take is breaking the young human's willpower; no more, no less. The seeds of self-destruction have already been planted, destroying the Padawan's personality ever since he has set foot on that fateful planet.

Ezra shook a little.

So, this is it.

He did what a Jedi should not able to: think like a Sith. He allowed the darkness to come to him, to find a place in his heart and expand its roots into the center if his very being.

He failed Kanan. He failed everyone else, too; and the blame for this couldn't be put only on Maul. Even though with good intention, but he, Ezra was the one who had confidence in the Dark Side user. He was the one who asked Kanan to trust him, and his Master did just that, as always.

He should have known. The last time when he wanted Kanan to believe in his idea, they nearly ended up as the next course on the menu of some giantic spider.

Another failure.

The red light was growing more intense, bathing the boy's features in a dangerous shade of crimson. The holocron felt the darkness in the boy being constantly nourished. So much power, so much potential! Even that pathetic excuse of a Jedi can't fully understand or imagine what would become of the boy **when** he finally joins to the right side!

Ezra stiffened, blinking at the floating pyramid above his palms.

Something in the pit of his shattered, broken soul screamed for him to snap out of it, to show to himself, he is better than he belives it at this very moment. He still has a goal to fight for, a family to care for.

Many thing can be said about Ezra Bridger. Some of those are not exactly nice and good. However if you really want to mention something, that has never ever occured him, than it can be describe with one word: surrender.

He has always been fighting since he was seven years old: for staying alive or just bickering with Zeb, it didn't matter. And he never gave up.

His parents were the Voice of Hope, their words made people hope in a better future, where the Empire's terror doesn't oppress every race, where they can be free and not fearing for their life. The Bridgers never retreated. For crying out loud, they even managed to organize a break out from a damn Imperial prison! They had paid with their life for it, yes, but so many got a new chance!

Like Azadi.

And he, the son of these heroes, the boy who himself broadcasted on one occasion, was sulking in an isolated room, away from everyone else. Nursing the artifact of the evil. Enjoying its forbidden powers.

No.

He is **not** going down that path.

He learned his lesson the hard way, that's true, but now it is just as a part of him as the Force.

He made mistakes. Fatal mistakes, too. But whatever he does with holocron, that won't bring back Ahsoka or change Kanan into a seeing being by magic.

Ezra knew he had to pick up the pieces of himself and make a working person from them. He won't be the same as before Malachor, of course, but that's not substantial anymore. He understood at last: in the Rebellion nobody fight for himself. They knew they would probably die during the war for the freedom, but it was their occupational hazard.

So, if in the near future he is going to be one with the Force, once and for all, he wants it to happen during a fight, surrounded by comrades; not as a Sith puppy, running around like Darth Vader who is nothing else than a burning blackness, destroying everything in his path, obeying to a cruel monster.

The pyramid reached out for Ezra's feelings, memories and fears, making one last forlorn attempt to claim the boy. It has already had a grasp on him in the Temple, and was not in its intention to let him go again.

It started whispering in his head.

'Hera, the daughter of Ryloth. The Twi'leks' race is still looked down on and treated as slaves. Imagine her chained and cuffed, serving a Hutt who... Force knows what would happen to her. Maybe even Asmorigan would be better than a big, snail-like Hutt. Imagine the strong and amazing, kind-hearted pilot rotting in a dark place, her emerald green eyes missing the spark of life.'

'Zeb. He lost his family. The Lasat's world was annihilated. The other one planet... sooner or later the Empire will find a way to take care of that problem, too. Then the former Honour Guard would be truly the last of his kind, as he has believed it for many years.'

'Chopper, he can be used as spare parts.'

'Sabine, she hadn't uttered a word to you before you left for Malachor. She is a kickass ex bounty hunter Mandalorian who gives damn for feelings. Well, that's a lie. She cares for her family. What would she do if another member get killed or hurt because of you?'

'Rex. He lost his last friend due to a little nobody who wanted to play the hero and screwed up royally. The Clone has been nothing but honorable and helpful, teaching you to shot with a blaster and think as a soldier. Killing his family was your gratitude. Because you hadn't been able to hold your own against Vader or the manipulations of a former Sith. You failed Rex, too.

'Ahsoka. Who saved your life. She... she didn't deserve her fate. It should have been you instead of her who stayed behind.'

'Kanan. He didn't deserve any of this. He has a Padawan who has always been dancing around the Dark Side. He is blind. He is miserable because of you.'

'They are suffering because of you!'

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion" said a feminie voice aloud. The one from the Temple. "Through passion I gain strenght. Through strenght I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains will be broken. The Force shall free me. This is the Sith Code, child. You can help them, all of them who is kind to your heart, just embrance your destiny. Make them proud of you, show them you're worthy enough for not take you back to where you are from."

"Oh, shut up, you drive me mad!" groaned Ezra, although his eyes were full with unshed tears. "I don't care what do you want to suggest with all of this, you little chatty thing! I've made up my mind. I won't cause more harm **because of you.** I'm a disaster, a weak street rat; it's not a secret. Still, if I take your offer up, I would sink to a much, much lower level than my current one.

"Without me you will lose everything you love. Your Master. Your family. Your ridiculous hope for becoming a Jedi."

"I would lose them if I agree with you. I know what I've done! I will never forget it. Moreover I know I'm not a Jedi. Not anymore" retorted Ezra, trying to gain the upper hand.

"These make you feel miserable, don't they?" asked the holocron in a sing-song voice." Than why defy me? Why hold back a rightful desire?"

"Desire, yes" spatted the word the boy. "I had desired power, and look at what came out of it! So no, thanks. I won't let you using me as your puppet, Sith whoever."

"I'm this holocron's gatekeeper, child. Remainder of a person who once had been alive. Be more respectful!" growled the dark thing, becoming impatient with its progress.

"Soooo... every type of holocron has a gatekeeper?"

"Yes, of course, you little ignorant boy!" shouted the once Sith." Why... You! You cheated me!" realized the truth the holocron.

Ezra winked. "You are a clever one. Now, go to sleep, angry Sith lady! You've helped enough."

"You will regret this, you fool!" threatened the artifect, glowing with a bright red shade.

Ezra tilted his head a bit. Is it really this easy to enrage a Sith gatekeeper with his cheeky resistance? Or did he successfully manage to open up the one what...who can principally flies into a temper without an effort?

"Fine to me. I will rather pay the price than anyone else. Now, come off it!" Ezra let all of his emotions to melt into numbness, cutting off the pyramid from its powersource. The Sith pyramid closed up and settled back into his hands. It failed its mission; instead of breaking the boy's willpower, it made his resolve more fierce.

And gave some guidance, thought Ezra. If every holocron has a gatekeeper, than Kanan's also must has one. A Jedi, probably.

Finally something useful.

His most important task is to bottle up his emotions and prevent himself from doing something unimaginable and unforgivable. Though he has been able to resist the temptation of that dark thing for the time being, it... her was still calling him, lurking in the back of his head, waiting for the next convenient opportunity.

'How Jedi choose to win, the question is' said Yoda to him on Lothal.

Yes, maybe... well, possibly he would have the power to cut off the head of the snake. The holocron is capable of making him suitable for the task. But what would happen after that? Who would stop **him** if he crosses the line between being a liberator and a dictator? More precisely, who could?

He is not a Jedi anymore, not after Malachor, but he still knows one. And Kanan would never choose this easy, mean way.

This must not come true. Never.

In one crucial part Maul wasn't right at all. Power isn't everything and knowledge isn't always blessing. Sometimes it is the worst kind of all existing curses.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge, would say the Jedi of the Old.

Ezra smirked.

This is soooo twisted!

Yoda sent them to Malachor to gain knowledge. Oh, they did, yes, and it costed them dearly, because the knowledge was the power that had been searched, desired by Maul, too.

Knowledge is power. This was Mauls's belief.

Wait a second...

Ezra went rigid as the painfully clear realization hit him.

'Master Yoda, your punch is below the belt' he thought as the coldness filled his bones, than cells. And this feeling had nothing to do with the Dark Side. 'What did you tell me in the Temple on Lothal? With power grow danger?' asked the teen, whising the little green creature could hear him right now.

With power grow danger. With **knowledge** grow danger.

Master Yoda told **him** to seek Malachor. To seek knowledge of the Sith.

Power which was dark in its very essence.

'Through power I gain victory.'

Through darkness I gain victory.

For the love of the Force, this whole mission was...

... a set up?!

But WHY?! Why would a great, famous Jedi Master send a couple of Force Sensitive people (because Kanan is the only one who can be thought of as a Jedi) to a Sith temple to a former Sith? Learning about what the Jedi resented?

What was the point of all of this? They wanted to turn everything for the better, but nothing successed except damaging every inviduals of the mission. Making them broken or supposedly dead.

Maul is free.

Kanan lost his sight.

Ahsoka... Who knows for sure if she is alive or not?

Darth Vader... guess, he is breathing and as evil as before. Dark Side users die hard.

Inquisitors? Well, Old Master was very capable of defeat all of them at the same time.

Kill Ahsoka or rip her away from the Rebellion? Not likely. Speaking of her... **she** chose the day of leaving Choppers's Base for Malachor.

Accident or arragement?

More questions, more frustration.

Did they want Kanan be blind? Yeah, because it's very realistic...

Freeing Maul? Why? **When** he had killed all the Inquisitors alone, he would have had not one, but three ships to choose from. He gained nothing from this action, too.

It's another question how on earth got him to Malachor. And what did he eat? Was he a visitor or lived there and got supplies from someone?

Ezra knew he was going to have a very, very bad headache from all the thinking and supposing. Still, it must be done. This is the begining of his penance for the crimes and mistakes he commited.

Okay, next topic.

Inquisitors.

Even if the Seventh Sister and Fifth Brother wouldn't have had came to Malachor... Ahsoka herself had had the ability to defeat both of them without help. Add to her him and Kanan, then the two Inquisitors wouldn't have stood a chance. Their threesome would have won, together.

But no. They had been seperated since nearly the beginning.

Again. WHY? This was a plan of Yoda or a plan of the Force? Maybe the two's combination?

Probably Yoda didn't want to help any Sith, former Sith or Inquisitor. However if this whole crap was an inevitable step towards the greater good, the freedom of the Galaxy and the downfall of the Empire, than it was a way too incomprehensible and unfathomable one for his taste.

Oh, and the cherry on the top of the icing: Darth Vader, the Sith Lord.

The Temple's activation and the handful of Force wilders were quite a decoy, that's true. Yet. How in the name of the Force managed Black Cape to arrive so soon?! Because there is only one explanation, namely, he has already been near to Malachor. Which is... an... interesting theory, since none have felt him, not even Ahsoka or Kanan.

The Togruta said on his home planet that during the Clone Wars Yoda had been like if he knew what was going to happen. Let's believe it's true. In this case he had to know what awaited them on Malachor. Couldn't he gave him a little warning when they talked on Lothal? For example: be careful because the Dark Side decided to make a big 'get together' celebration for evil minded humanoids!

Except for the Emperor.

If the other Sith had been come too, now, that scenario would have been something. Probably Ezra would have left Malachor to blow up in such a grandious explosion that would have made proud even Sabine.

The teenager frowned. Maybe it's time to sleep... his thoughts became less and less coherent with every ticking second. However sleep means dreams, and dreams mean... nightmares. Loosing Ahsoka, being disappointed with his trust in Maul; Kanan needing him to get back to the Phantom... the Inquisitor's fast slaughter by the Dark Side user... Seeing them all over again and again like an endless holotransmission was something that he wanted to avoid at any cost.

He felt awful. That day was worse than when his parents had been taken away by the Empire. Little Ezra in his hideaway hadn't seen just... heared. His mothers' screams, his father's beg for let her wife be and take only him, the Imperial's angry shouts and barks about high treason against the Emperor. And thumps. Exactly two. Than nothing else than shuffling, quick orders and silence.

Tha last part had been the worst.

Quiet signifies lonliness.

There's nobody around you. No one to look after you when you are sad, sick or just confused about the big, weird circus that's called 'Life'.

For the seven years old boy silence could have been the death itself. Though, he's survived. It was hard and sometimes he got involved to deadly situations, doubting the chance of living to see the next day's dawn.

Yet, he has won.

After eight years he was no more blanketed in silence. He got a new family, a purpose and a place to belong to.

He sighed.

The holocron. It... she told about the gatekeepers.

Was this damn little pyramid the reason of their journey, not to defeat the Inquisitors? Did he leave the path of the Jedi for a Sith stuff? Really?! To learn there should be a guide in the Jedi holocron, too?

Why couldn't Yoda tell them this?

And what the Hutt should he do with it... urgh, her?! Because there **has** to be a reason why **...**

Reason... reasons.

Ezra jumped up. If he is right, then... then the mission was more complex than he would ever dare to assume. Maybe it wasn't Yoda who did all these meddlings. Maybe the Force...

Suddenly his door was ripped out of its place. Standing there was one worried, furious Jedi Knight with bandages over his eyes.

Ezra, alarmed by the unexpected intruder, dropped the Sith holocron, which landed on the ground with a semi-loud clatter.

Karabast!

Guess, time to speak with Kanan.

Oh, man, it's going to be fun...

SWRSWRSWRSWR

Somewhere on a lonly ship a Zabrak male stared into the lightspotted blackness. It was long years ago he could be this free, this... alive. Too long years, for his taste.

Maul streched a little in the pilot's sit.

His plan had been thwarted at the end. Although all of the Inquisitors are dead now, and he successfully blinded that Jedi too, Vader still escaped. Damn Sith!

But not the rasping machine was his biggest regret.

No.

The owner of those intense blue eyes was his gratest problem. The innocent-looking child, who has so incredibly much raw power that he was capable to open up the Sith temple just barely swaying off of the path of the Jedi.

Maul chuckled.

Ezra is something, that sure. In **his** hands as his Master, the boy will be a powerful Dark Side user. Not a Sith. Those two monsters are going to be killed.

Ezra will be his apprentice, even if he has to murder all the rebels. The child is valuable, even more than the holocron.

Suddenly the Force began drifting around the Zabrak. He closed his eyes, just to feel the Force doing the same thing all over the Galaxy.

The last occasion when Maul had felt something like this was at the end of the Clone Wars. That day Darth Vader had been arisen and the Jedi had become nothing more than another page in the thick book of history. That is, until a certain Jedi and his remarkable Padawan have got the attention of the Empire, and now, him.

The red and black skinned male slowly breathed in, than out, calming his senses. If **he** felt it, the Siths and the Jedi did, too.

Interesting.

Only a significant event can disturbe, no, shook the Force to its very core, has an affect on its natural flow. Whatever caused this, there will be consequences, but what kind of... that's a mistery for the time being.

Maul rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the building headache.

Well, never mind. He has other businesses to cath up with, like to get his hands on one little, powerful, rebel Padawan.

He already has plans for capturing Ezra and introducing him to a new, expanded world, where both of them can... no, **will** have their revenge.

They have a bond that cannot be broken. Its fundamentum is a feeling, bindig them into an understatment, interweaving their respective fates for a greater goal.

Suffering.

Suffering is the key to Ezra Bridger.

And he, he has already put that key into the lock on Malachor. Next time he will open it up. Because there is a reason why he didn't kill that Jedi. There is a reason why he blinded him.

Everything he had done and will do has a reason.

Even when he called himself Old Master.

SWRSWRSWRSWR

In the middle of Dagobah's bog, a tiny, green creature set on the ground.

"Young Ezra Briger" muttered the small being "has choosen a path. For now."

"Yes, my old friend. I can feel it, too" said a gentle, warm voice.

"It is not so far now, the end of the Siths' age."

"Luke still doesn't know a thing."

"To remain that way, it must. Join in the war, he is not ready yet."

"And Ezra? Master Yoda, he is barely sixteen!" argued the Jedi Master's company.

"To wear this burden, he must. The former Sith, Maul is being after him. To make him his apprentice, his intention is.

"And when that is over?"

Yoda became a miniature statue for a minute as the violent flips in the Force made him dizzy. This was an unexpected turn of the events, to say at least.

He looked at the floating golden orbs in fron of him. "Answer to your question, you have just got. Youngling's fate and destiny decided by the Force, they will be. Waiting for our next step, we will be."

"Next step?"

"The twilight of the apprentice, it has come. Whether it turns into dusk, midnight or daylight, the question it is."

"What do you mean, my old friend?"

The Jedi Master made a sad, resignated smile. He has been having visions about the possible near future, and most of them... Well, darkness will have a great role, that's sure. But every single vision had someone in common, too: Ezra Bridger.

Whatever is being planned by the Force, that youngling is an important figure in it.

Yoda cleared his mind for he could meditate.

"See it, soon, we will."

~The End~

 **This is it. The End.**

 **Now, first of all I want to thank you, A Voice in the Desert. Without your words of entcouragement I would have never ever posted this story, probably. Or anything at all. So here comes a very big THANK YOU!**

 **Okay.**

 **I hope despite of my questionable English knowledge and grammar skills you all could enjoy this one shot. I've learned English at school, but since its grammar is in a galaxy far far away from my mother language's, to write this text was a real challenge for me. (If anyone is interested: I'm a Hungarian. For example: our language has no prepositions, instead we use case suffixes and postpositions. As for verb tenses... we have** **definitely** **less** **from them.)**

 **By the way, I was happy to write this story. IF you want me to continue it, I have ideas for a second part, and even for a multi-chaptered sequel, but writing them would have some difficulties:**

 **1, My struggles to write minimum semi-understable sentences.**

 **2, I have no Internet. I can use my neighbour's, that's right, but I don't really like disturbing someone else's life when they have two little children.**

 **3, Life itself and its happenings.**

 **So, even if I write it, the updates would be rare. Maybe in every one or two months. Don't know. If you would have the patience to wait, than please, let me now, and I'll give it a try.**

 **I appriciate every review and PM. Feel free to give me your oppinion, be it positive or negative. I don't bite.**

 **Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

 **When I posted the first chapter, I was like: okay, in best case there will be four-five reviews and two-three followers, favorites. As you can see I was wrong, and I'm very happy about it!**

 **So here's the new chapter.**

 **Special thanks to Sins007 who was so kind and proofreaded my work; she certainly had some serious work to do with my story. It's not perfect since neither of us have English as their mother tongue; and I also can't stop myself but added a few thoughts to the chapter even after it was checked. Yeah, I'm just like that...**

 **One more thanks goes to Wookieepedia, my new friend.**

 **Oh, and I cut the end of the original title off (Everything has a reason... or not?). This way it would make more sense, just like the changed summary.**

 **Your reviews were so heart-warming that I thought I should give responses to them. At the bottom of this chapter there will be more Author's Note.**

 **Patriota1993:** **In my oppinion to see someone's dark side not necessarily requires to be a Dark Side user. So Ezra isn't out of the woods, not at all...**

 **Gravityfalls1920:** **Thank you! Yes, it's quite hard, and some of the things still don't make any sense to me, but I won't give up just because it's difficult. Nobody uses English around me (at this part of my country German as second language is more, more common), so I'm a kind of self-teacher, picking up things here and there :). I'm glad for your understanding because of my internet issues.**

 **sguti392:** **thank you, and here's the next update.**

 **RegdirbArze EzraBridger:** **Here you are! :)**

 **Guest 1 & Guest 2:** **I'm glad.**

 **A Voice in the Desert:** **You know what I think.**

 **rawrxsushii:** **Yes, Ezra has been tainted, indeed... you will see it (evil laugh).**

 **Sins007:** **I believe there's nothing left to say :D**

 **RUHLSAR000:** **I'm glad to hear you think I kept him in character. In this and the following chapters he maybe will be a little out of it, but since I can't predict what he would do in situations like I put and will put him into... well, I tried to think with Ezra's head, like in the first chapter. If someone/something is very OOC, I'm sorry.**

 **Starlight Moon Midnight:** **First of all: I love your user name! As for chatty sisters... well, mine undeniably is one of them... :) Your review makes me grinning like mad man every time I read it, and I think: if a text could have the ability to be energetic, than yours certainly has it ! I'm glad you liked the first chapter so much. Although I could be wrong about it, but I guess this chapter will have more impact on you than the first one... :D**

 **cassturn93:** **In this chapter there won't be any Yoda, and for what he can see about the future... he's a secretive one :). But at some point we will meet him again, or at least hear about him. Don't know yet.**

 **Future Teacher:** **Thanks for the reviews! :) I was happy to read your opinions. I've considered one-shots, but they are not my style. Practically I can't write anything that is a short story because I always find at least one way to continue it, no matter what. This is the reason I will try to avoid making cliff hangers. I too like multiply POVs, and it's so fun trying to slip into their persona!**

 **Historia-Reiss-aot:** **Thank you! It's always good to hear I'm not a hopless case :)**

 **Disclaimer:** **I don't own the Star Wars Universe or -surprise!- the Rebels.**

 **They belong to Lucasfilm, Disney and the amazing brain of Dave Filoni.**

 **However this story's plot is mine and to review it is fine!**

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Kanan was over being simply mad. He was over being angry. He was beyond even furious.

The Jedi was boiling inside, barely withholding his temper; the man whole posture indicated his whirling emotions which were radiating towards the poor boy standing in front of him. Well, it wasn't exactly the teenager who was their main target, but rather the incredibly stupid thing he had just done.

Ezra knew he was soooo in trouble.

He'd never seen Kanan this stormy before. The Jedi had been always calm, being able to rule over his feelings in spite of the circumstances.

Not this time.

"Kanan?" Ezra was unsure what to say. How much the Knight could put together? Because based on his body language, the man couldn't be called clueless at all.

"What have you done, Ezra?" hissed the older male, placing one hand on the doorframe to help him with the orientation. His white bandage glowed in the half-light. "Did you lost all your precaution? How could you be so reckless?!"

Ezra's eyes widened. "What?"

Kanan couldn't already knew **that** , could he?

The Jedi stepped forward, still holding the doorframe. Now he was in an arm's length from his Padawan. "You brought the Sith holocron back with you, didn't you?" he asked in a low, quiet voice which bothered Ezra more than anything. He could deal with an angry Kanan who shout him down. He had practice for that. But a silently fuming Kanan?

That's an enigma.

Ezra Bridger had learnt not to like the unknown. Or trust.

Damn Maul, why did he have to pop into his thoughts all the time? Why couldn't that black and red, old former Sith leave him alone?

"Yes, but I..." tried the boy to defend himself, with no success. This time he really pissed the Jedi Knight off.

"You opened it" continued Kanan, not caring for whatever the Lothian wanted to say. Even if desperation can get the worst out of anybody, what Ezra had done was **not** under the 'acceptable' label.

This was a mistake that cannot be repeated. Ever.

Ezra took a step to the left. The Jedi's proximity was too much to handle at that moment.

"Look, Kanan, I did it, yes, and..."

"Why?" The man demanded a proper answer, not some diversionary mumbling or good-for-nothing excuse.

The teenager ran a hand through his hair. This damn question again: why?

"Because I had to" said the boy truthfully. Well, in Ezra's book it was the truth.

"Had to" repeated Kanan after his protégé, stunned for a few seconds.

'Had to.' This was a sentence that could mean many, many thing. Had to because Maul had told him to do so. Had to for satisfy his curiosity. Or...

"It's been calling me ever since I touched the pyramid, Kanan."

... had to because the holocron had found a way to him. This option had been the most dreaded one by the Jedi when he realized why a Sith could be on the Ghost. Looked like he had every right to be afraid and wary.

Ezra was being beleaguered by the Dark Side.

"You should have left it on Malachor" said the Knight, trying to process the grave news. Malachor hadn't finsihed its work yet.

"Of course, I should." Sarcasm. Ezra's natural defense. "Vader would have been very happy about it. He got Ahsoka, ruined my lightsaber; I couldn't let him also have the holocron" explained the boy his actions. "You know he wanted it. You've been there."

Who knows what the Sith Lord would have been able to do with the artifact.

Kanan stayed unyielding. "You're right. The best decision was to bring it with us, I admit. But it still doesn't explain one thing, namely: you opened it, Ezra!" raised the man's voice with a hint of disappointment in it.

"I did" agreed the boy, oddly calm. "That Sith lady is a scary thing, by the way."

"Did you talk with a Sith?!" So this was whom Kanan felt before blacking out. Ezra hadn't just activated the Sith holocron, but also talked with it. What did the kid get himself into?! "Are you insane? They are trying to coax Force sensitive people to their Side!"

"I experienced something like that" the Lothian's tone became darker. "She wasn't very successful as you can see. Altough she said an interesting thing."

Kanan shook his head. "I don't want to hear it, Ezra. The Dark Side has already taken enough from me, and I refuse to add you to that list, Padawan. Moreover, because of the holocron, you knocked me out for a few minutes" grimaced the Jedi. 'The kid has a powerful way to lose his grip on the Force when he is unbalanced' he thought grimly. Ezra's impulsive moments were just as bad as his hazardous attitude that occasionally showed itself up. Sure, the kid was more mature now, but still a kid. Who, seldom, had some very serious problem with controlling his powers.

"Knocked you out?" Ezra sounded astonished and afraid. "I... I.. knocked you out? Did I hurt you? Did I..."

"Enough!" Kanan ordered sternly. "You didn't hurt me. I was lucky to step aside at the last second and not hit my head against the ladder. No harm had been done."

"I swear I didn't do it on purpose!" Ezra started to panic. Was he so fallen apart and erratic that he would attack his own family and don't even know about it?

Was he a danger to them?

Kanan realized he needed to cool down a bit. A spurt-heated conversation would lead to nowhere. "I know and I forgive you."

"What happened? Exactly?" asked Ezra, feeling numb. He had to know. He... he just had to know. Oh, and he had to sit down on the hard, metallic floor, because his trembling knees couldn't be trusted with his weight right now.

"First, you blocked me out. Afterwards, when I felt a Sith presence, I lost consciousness. Somehow the holocron influenced you to make me incapable to interrupt your discussion" summarized the man. "Never ever do something like that again, Ezra!" The Jedi scowled, his lips in a hard, thin line. "The Dark Side doesn't play with open cards. You should've learnt that by now. It can lead you to do things you otherwise wouldn't even think of, not even noticing the manipulation before it's too late."

Ezra casted a glance at the Sith holocron. "Trust me, I know."

The Knight sighed, gaining control over his... well, you can call them 'parental emotions.'

Yes, Jedi must not make attachments, but the kid had wormed himself in the middle of his heart, earning the place of a son he had to have yet.

"Then why did you have to be so reckless, Padawan?"

"I'm not your Padawan anymore" declared the teenager without any regret.

Kanan was shocked. No way he heard it right. Ezra couldn't say that. Yes, he was upset, angry and hurt, but he couldn't say that, could he? "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm not your Padawan anymore" repeated Ezra the painful words. "I'm no longer a 'Jedi in training'. And somewhere, deep down, you agree with me."

"No. I do not agree with you" stated Kanan. He couldn't decide what was the bigger agony: his eyes or the teenage boy's sentences.

"So you're a fool!" spatted Ezra. The anger behind his mental barricade welcomed happily the new fuel. "What have yet to happen to make you finally see the truth? How many times should I use my powers for bad things to get you to understand that I mean danger to anyone who is near me?!" Ezra inhaled deeply, willing his temper to calm down. "I can't be like you, like a Jedi. I don't deserve you, and you certainly don't deserve me."

Kanan sat down next to the boy. It was hard without his sight, but with the help of the Force he managed to find the right spot since he could feel the kid's presence. "I would never ever ask for another Padawan. You're confused and hurt now, trying to get back on your path, but I want you to know, I'm proud of you" the Jedi adjusted the bandage on his eyes, wincing as the material grazed his too sensitive skin. "The events of the near past have taken their tool on you, but don't let them define your judgement."

"Actually, my judgment is the reason of our downfall!" Ezra ignored the man's praising words. He didn't earn them, so he neither would use them as a lifline in his pathetic, miserable state.

"In the fog of your overhelming emotions you aren't thinking straight, Ezra. It's not you who should be blamed." Kanan knew, reproving the young boy wouldn't help much, but he had to try. Nevertheless, how someone could be so much hard-headed, it still amazed the Jedi to no end.

"Really? You had been warned not once, Kanan. I'd been warned, too. Yet, here we are, arguing about whether I can still be a Jedi or not, although it's obvious" Ezra picked the holocron up from the metal floor. "Though, what I want to tell you isn't Sith knowledge" the boy's voice was so emotionless like a brainless droid's.

It was wrong, very, very wrong. Ezra should never sound this lifeless!

"What did you want to tell me?" played along Kanan. Having a row would resolve nothing at all. He needed to listen to whatever Ezra decided to tell him.

"Every holocron, no matter if it's a Jedi or a Sith, has a gatekeeper. An imprint of a person if I understood it right" eyed Ezra the little pyramid, mesmerized by the engravings on it. How could something be so beautiful and so evil at the same time?

Kanan nodded, a little relieved. There was nothing dark in this information.

"I've heard something like that, but I've never been able to find anyone in my Holocron. All I know is mine was my Master's before. Who gave it to her is a question I was never curious of" admited the Jedi. He himself got it at the same day when death had found Depa Billaba by the hands of the clones.

"Her Master?" guessed Ezra, not looking away from the Sith artifact.

"Master Mace Windu? Maybe. She never talked about it."

"What a surprise! Jedis tend to love their secrets and mysterious ways, don't they? Someone would even say withholding." Ezra's voice was full of venom, like it didn't belong to him.

The holocron hummed delightedly, its sound only being heard by the teenager.

"They are just trying to protect themselves and their inheritance!" opposed Kanan. He was worried about Ezra; the boy never used words to harm the Jedi way. There were times when the kid didn't agree with the Jedi teachings, but he didn't criticize openly.

"Protect? Really?" snarled the Lothian. On his face was nothing else but disdain and pity. "How do you want to protect anything, Kanan, if even the last remains of the Jedi don't help you? What are you supposed to do?"

"I won't give up" said Kanan quietly. "I still have reasons to belive, to fight as a Jedi.

Dead silence, then...

"Well, I do give up!" Ezra was getting angry, afresh. "Not on the Rebellion, but on this ridiculous attempt at making me someone that I'm not and never will be." Why didn't it ease this pain in his chest? Why did he feel like he was being crushed by crates filled with stones?

Kanan sighed.

This discussion wasn't really getting a bit more comfortable or less serious, was it? Ezra received a great amount of damage and the impact of it made him unstable. An unstable, Force sensitive teenager with a hard past could be... difficult. Risky.

"Look, Ezra, I know what you are going through right now..."

The boy's grip on the pyramid gained strength. "Don't. Don't come with Order 66, Kanan" he growled. "That was hell, okay. I accept it. But look at you, then look at me. You weren't in my shoes."

"Hell, Ezra? Hell?!" the Knight stretched his arms out in a wild motion. "Everything and everyone I knew before had been destroyed! Nothing survived, nothing at all! Not even my Master!"

"Tell me one thing, Kanan. Only one thing" requested Ezra in a calm, empty voice. "Have you ever been tempted by the darkness? And not the 'what if I give in to my anger and grief', but the 'this is the only path in the Force for me' kind of temptation?"

There wasn't any hesitation when Kanan gave him his answer. "No. I won't deny it, there were a few occasions when I though I would be stronger by unleashing my emotions and using them as a weapon. But my Jedi teachings always stopped me" the man paused a little, folding his arms in front of his chest in a protective manner." After Order 66 it was nearly impossible to survive, and I sank to a level that I'm not proud of. In spite of my destroyed world, somehow I still managed to avoid that dark place you are talking about. Maybe the reason of it was my secret being kept away from the Empire for a long time. Had they targeted me at your age, I don't think I would have been able to resist like you did today."

Ezra nodded, although Kanan couldn't see that. "As I said, we can't be compared. You had a stable base to hold you back from doing the unforgivable. Me, on the other hand... I have hardly anything stable." He was very well aware of the fact, this conversation was tearing them apart inside. Nonetheless, it had to be done. Maybe it was time to be slightly bolder. "You can continue ignoring my threads to the Dark Side, if it makes you feel better. But, I can't. Not anymore."

"What does it mean? What are you intending to do?" In the pit of Kanan's stomach dread started to blossom.

The kid's voice sounded so determined. The Jedi would have done nearly anything just to get a look at the teenager's face, because Ezra's eyes always betrayed him, no matter what. He could be seen as a careless, mischievous, too energetic boy; however, when someone who knew him met those expressive blue orbs, the pain and hurt in them were too much to be remain hidden.

It was time to test how much he knew Ezra. No sight or Force bond, only a troubled child and a man who should be the guide on the boy's rocky path.

"Simple. I won't use the Force" came the resigned answer.

Ezra had to be kidding, decided Kanan. His idea was more unrealistic than even to assume that the Emperor suddenly would choose the way of the Jedi.

"This is insane! I've tried to do it, belive me!" the Knight was losing patience. "You can't imagine what was my life like before I met Hera. If there is a manhunt for your kind and you have to deny the way of living you had before, now that can do very unpleasant things with someone. Moreover, the person who helped and taught me to survive was a smuggler. I've told you so: I was very different back then. I'm still wondering at why Hera put up with me" for a moment he allowed a fond smile to slip on his face, although it quickly disappeared. "The Force is a part of who you are, you can't lock it away" declared the man, hoping his statement left no room for further argument.

Maybe it could have worked if his Padawan hadn't had such a stubborn personality.

Yes, Padawan. Kanan refused to give up on Ezra. Should it take everything he had, he wouldn't let the boy turn his back on his abilities. Not because Kanan wanted to train a new Jedi so he wouldn't be alone. Since the fact he would be the only Jedi remaining in the Rebellion (well, maybe the very last one left in the whole Galaxy...) wasn't something he wanted to think of; the Kinght's real reason was more selfless.

He saw who Ezra had become. Who the child truly was. Be the price high to accomplish it, he didn't mind, but Kanan would not allow Ezra to abandon himself. Not today, not tomorrow or in the near future. As long as he was a breathing being, he wouldn't let the teenager down.

"I know I can't. But I don't have to use it" the boy shifted a little, getting the feeling he should have put the holocron down. He hesitated for a few seconds, but a small nudge in the back of his head, where he always got the warnings from the Force, persuaded him to do the right thing.

He carefully placed the pyramid behind his back. The moment his skin didn't touch it anymore, Ezra felt like a heavy burden was lifted from his soul.

Perhaps it was what truly happened.

"The Force doesn't work like that. Furthermore you are too strong not to use it. You can't just make your mind up and stop being who you are" reasoned the Jedi. By hook or by crook, he would reach the goal to get the kid to change his decision.

"You did it in the past" retorted the teenager instantly. "You stopped being a Jedi."

"With little success" admitted Kanan. "Besides, I had to hide from the Empire. If I hadn't done that, I would have been killed."

"I won't hide. I just don't want to risk anyone else. Everything is so malleable, so damn muddled. It's the best for all of us if I don't use the Force anymore. I'm not reliable enough" Ezra shrugged casually like he was talking about the weather. "Anyways, I have to learn again how to let things go.

Kanan's shoulders slumped. What he was going to say to Ezra would get anyone to the ground.

"Ezra, I should have told you this before. Stating you are strong in the Force... it's not only mean your potential to become a capable Jedi. It means you're way stronger than me. More sensitive. More powe..."

"DON'T SAY THAT WORD!" shouted Ezra, hands in tight fists. He didn't want to hear that cursed pile of letters, because every time it left someone's lips, disaster came.

"You can't deny it!" said Kanan sternly. He could only imagine how distressed Ezra was; how fragile and lost. He wished he didn't had to put the boy into a more chaotic world, but now they were... Ezra was in a greater danger than ever. Maul was not an empty threat; he had heard stroies about him on Coruscant, and they didn't lack bloodshed, murder or plotting in the background.

The former Sith was a killer; but at the same time a clever, cunning, sly, trained enemy who learnt a long time ago how to be patient. His skills combined with his abilities made him a deadly foe. Add to all of this his strength in the Force, and you got a bigger problem than the four Inquisitors together.

He also managed to cheat the death itself. He had been supposed to be cut in half by the young Obi-Wan Kenobi, and he still survived.

How?

"I can! It's not true!" argued Ezra, slipping into a frantic state. He wasn't powerful, he wasn't capable of all of the things that Kanan seemed to think about him, he could stop using the Force, he...

His inner mantra was broken off by the Jedi's next words.

"It's true! What do you think, why does Maul want you as his apprentice?!"

"He..." That was it, the breaking point. Ezra could feel himself beginning to shake. "He... want's me. Maul wants me as... as his apprentice" he said dumbly with a bit of wonder in his tone, like he didn't realize those few words' full sinister, foreboding menace.

Kanan cursed himself. It wasn't the best way to make this kind of news known, but he couldn't take it back. "Sorry..."

"Through power I gain victory" whispered the teenager, icy cold spreading from the tip of his fingers into his arms and legs, chasing away the warmth that still had been left in him after Malachor.

"Where did you heard this?" Kanan grabbed the boy's arm, surprising even himself. Maybe he wasn't so crippled, after all. "Have you any idea about what did you qoute?!"

"A part of the Sith Code" muttered Ezra, remembering the whole creed. It was hard to forget, at least for him.

"Yes" hissed Kanan, still clutching the Lothian. His breath tickled the boy's cheek that was also getting colder and colder with every passing second. "And, due to this, the part of the Dark Side."

"You know, what? I don't care!" ripped Ezra away from the Jedi's grip." Out there is a former Sith who wants me to be his obedient puppy, so excuse me if I'm a little bit more interested in **that** little problem!"

Kanan didn't move. He knew Maul was going to be a great problem. Even the name of the Zabrak should be enough to make Ezra a total mess, but to face up to the reality Maul wouldn't stop until he got the boy was another big adversity for the teenager.

The Jedi didn't want to guess how much Ezra could take yet until he finally would reach the end of his sanity.

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 **Originally the second chapter was destinied to be a little something, filling the gap until the next big step... but I had some serious brain storm... and it managed to grow to a really huge size. I decided to split it, so I can update in every week, at least in June.**

 **About the upcoming chapters. They were hell of a task, and not only because of spelling issues. My mind is a crazy thing. It really is. There were moments when I was asking myself: are you insane?! How on earth could you think of that?! Translation: I may or may not made up things and connected dots that weren't meant to be linked... thereby, if anything is a really outrageous silliness, I'm sorry. In my brain it all makes sense, since I know the answers for all of the questions... well my version of them. (Oh, and if any of you is a strict 'Jedi way' lover... then I think at some point I should go into hiding. There are going to be be parts where you may will curse me.)**

 **I've also managed to see 'The Twilight of the Apprentice' on my mother language, and I realized I've made a few mistakes in the first chapter (for example Maul's explanation for why he was there). Sorry about them, but it's hard to remember for every detail if you only see something once. By all means upcoming chapters are going to be a little better since I saw that episode twice a time now... and somewhere in the future I'll try to correct every kind of mistake in the first chapter.**

 **I've read that Dave Filoni are going to come to Europe (exactly: London) for a Star Wars festival in July, and he also will give some sneakpeak from the first two episodes of the third season... plus other informations! Maybe I'll get some ideas for a sequel.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone!**

 **I would like to say thank you for all of the reviews, alarms and favourites. Also goes a big thank you to anyone who is reading this story; and, of course, a special one to Sins007.**

 **I sent PMs those who I could, but still there are two Guests, so...**

 **Guest 1:** **Here you are, and thanks :)**

 **Guest 2:** **I don't planning on another 'Sith Lady moment' in this story, but as for the sequel... who knows? ;)**

 **All mistakes are mine.**

 **Disclaimer:** **I don't own Star Wars, just the plot.**

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Chapter 3

Kanan had the anxious feeling, his conversation with Ezra had been doing more damage than helped the kid. Despite being blind, the man was sure he made the boy more upset and afraid of his future and what it could hold for him, than Ezra had ever been. Considering the fact, both of them had a hard past, Kanan couldn't help worrying about if he broke the boy.

The Jedi wasn't good at handling emotions. He could offer a shoulder to cry on, or silence to hear others' problems. However, this situation was entirely else. He needed to understand those painful emotions which were driving Ezra away from him further and further. He needed to know where he should start to pick up the pieces. Because one wrong step, and there wouldn't be going back.

Kanan rarely whished for something –it wasn't the Jedi way to desire-, but he realized, he really could use a little help... in whatever form.

He was in the dark in more than one way.

"Why are you two shouting?" turned Hera up behind Kanan, startling the man. He was in such a deep thinking, he didn't even pay attention to the approaching Twi'lek's Force signature.

On the other hand, Ezra wasn't surprised. He had been waiting for the woman's appearance ever since Kanan showed up; actually he assumed, she would be the one to guide Kanan to his hiding-sulking-blaming place.

Hera's lekku was twitching, indicating the tension in the room. Her family had already been shattered, broken; there was no need for more argument or any kind of fall out. She wouldn't allow it.

The Twi'lek sat down next to Kanan. Maybe her calm, balanced nature would help the other two to make a civilized discussion, she thought.

Ezra shrugged, feeling fatigued. He couldn't decide if he was tired or burned out; at this point it didn't matter to him which one was the more suitable for his state. The numbness was the same one in either case. "Oh, nothing important... I've just happened to learn that I'm a very strong Force wielder who is the target of a dangerous former Sith. I also told Kanan I can't be a Jedi anymore" the boy smiled without any mirth. "You know, another ordinary day in my life. Don't worry about it."

Hearing this, the Twi'lek instantly looked at Kanan. The man, just like them, was having a rough time. One of the things that kept him grounded was his Padawan. If Ezra decided to quit his role and abandon everything Kanan had taught him, the Jedi would be devastated and crushed.

"More precisely: you don't want to be" piped up the Jedi. He blessed the Force for Hera and her decision to join them. The woman was more skilled in emotions than him.

The teen waved his hand in a bored manner. "A matter of detail. The result is the same."

Hera's emerald eyes met Ezra's sapphire ones, holding so much care and compassion for the battered soul in front of her. "We need to stick together" she tried to reason. "No one had ever said we won't have casualties, losses... but somehow we'll get through it."

The Lothian put his hands up in the air as he showed a bit of surrender. He didn't want to upset the green female, because when Hera was sad, it felt like all of the Galaxy's suns had found their death at the exact same time. "I won't leave the Rebellion. I won't leave the crew. The Jedi way is the only thing I leave behind me."

"I hoped you don't want to go and do something stupid" nodded the woman. As long as Ezra was disposed to fight against the Empire, nothing was lost. The old Ezra was not lost. "However, I do believe your decision about to stop being a Padawan isn't a wise one. I know it's hard to..."

"You know, what is hard?" the boy ignored the Ghost's captain's further words even before they could have been said out loud. "When you realize that a Jedi Master had sent you to a terrible place where 'accidentally' were three Inquisitors and a former Sith. Oh, and add to the fun Darth Vader himself, who popped up out of thin air making everything far more disastrous." Ezra, for once, was happy to feel anger. The emotion gave his body some warmth, taking the freezing darkness' place over. And the numbness's. "So here is the question: how the bantha poodoo did manage all of us to be at the same place at the same time?"

"He is right, love" patted Hera Kanan's forearm. She accepted that Ezra was too troubled to talk about his future. Of course it didn't mean she wouldn't pester him about it tomorrow or a little later than that. "There's something that really confuses me and I can't find any solution."

Kanan tilted his head. "Other than the fact we were sent to a former Sith's nest?" He came to the same conclusion as the Twi'lek: Ezra wasn't in a state of making life-altering decisions. They should have this topic on a day when things became a little calmer, clearer.

"Yes" fowned the woman. "The two Inquisitors could follow you to Malachor or that new one could alert them. The third had already been there, just like Maul. However, why the Sith Lord Darth Vader was there, that's what I can't put my finger on."

It was something Kanan had already been pondering on. "Maul said he would come. The Inquisitors called him."

"Strange" remarked Hera. Something just didn't add up with the Sith Lord, and she didn't like it at all.

"We still didn't get the answer for our original dilemma: how could the Inquisitors always find us?" sighed Ezra, embittered. His emotions were doing some serious waving, and he feared the moment when one of these billows wouldn't allow him to the surface again.

"They felt you?" guessed Hera. She was neither Force sensitive nor an expert at what the Jedi and the Sith were capable of if they would have the possibility to learn and practice; on the other hand she had been living with one of them for a few years now. With Kanan having Ezra as his Padawan, she had explored more about their life, knowledge and abilities than ever before. Assuming a Dark Side user had been sensing them through the Force wasn't a hare-brained idea at all.

"I don't think so. If they did, they would have found the whole fleet, not just me and Ezra. Although they have been doing this ever since Garel, so whatever happened, it must had on that planet."

Kanan felt Hera's Force signature changing position in the room. Judging from the rustling sounds, the Twi'lek stood up and sat down again, this time next to her youngest Specter, stepping into her famous 'mother-hen' role. The Jedi didn't mind her action. Their broken kid needed more comfort and support than the Knight; Kanan has already had his fare share of Hera's worried love.

"We had only a brief meeting with them" Ezra voice was thick with emotions. That day was when the whole Rebellion had to escape from the Empire's fleet. That day was when he and Kanan left for Lothal, and later learnt about his parents' fate. "Don't think anything could have happened." Because he had been stopped from doing a really crazy and rash silliness.

"Neither could be some kind of tracking device. Chopper checked everything inside and outside of the Ghost." The Twi'lek's heart ached for both of her Jedis. Oh, these stubborn, selfless heroes...! They should work that out how to look after themselves, as they suffered too much damage.

"Maybe a yellow eyed had visions about us" uttered Ezra. He edged a little away from the Ghost's captain, mindful to let the Sith holocron behind him being covered by his back. He didn't want her to be a witness of his shame. His weakness.

"Actually, it could be... but not likely. The Inquisitors are or were under Darth Vader's command; their ability to follow us could something to do with the Sith. However, spying on us all the time, that would be hard for any Force user, even if it's Darth Vader we are talking about" explained Kanan. Albeit it would be the most realistic reason for the Inquisitors's success in tracking them down so efficiently, it was a mad theory. If Darth Vader would do such a thing, if he **could** do such a thing, the Rebellion would have been cracked down a long time ago.

Ezra grimaced, seeing the logic in Kanan's words. "This leave only one option."

"Which would be..." One of Hera's eyebrows was raised in a perfect, high dome. She was paying attention for whatever brilliantly startling suggestion would be heard in the next few seconds. When it came to Ezra, the teenager was full of surprises.

"We have a traitor who leaks information out about our missions" said Ezra dryly. He enterly and clearly understood the weight of his words and what they would mean to the Rebellion in case he was right.

Emerald orbs narrowed, hiding their shock very well. "This is a serious accusation."

The boy shrugged again He was gazing at his hand in his lap, looking smaller than his actual height. "But won't hurt if we check it up, will it?" he whispered under his breath. He was going to cause more pain... and earn more angry and hateful glances, but he was willing to be the scapegoat. Not that he wasn't already one.

"I'll speak with Commander Sato" the Twi'lek, lekku flying, shook her head. It was a discussion she was not looking forward to, but she had been left without any other choice.

"Even if we have a spy... this still doesn't solve every detail about Malachor" Kanan rubbed his temples, having a quite sombre mood by the possibility of treachery. How could gone everything so south?

Ezra raised his eyes on Kanan, and stared at the bandage over his eyes for a short time. Another mistake he was accountable for. "I have two ideas. One: Master Yoda wanted to kill us. Personally, I think it's a ridiculous conjecture." Had it been his purpose, the green creature could have hindered Ezra in leaving the chamber. Without him Ahsoka and Kanan wouldn't have left the Temple, so the Inquisitors could have had more opportunity to kill them or hold them back until the Empire's reinforcements would have arrived. "Two: Force plot."

"Force plot" repeated the Jedi, taken aback. The kid had some crazy ideas, that was not a new thing, but Force plot? For the love of the Galaxy, what was the boy assuming?

"Yeah, greater plans and all the confusing stuff. Maybe Yoda was the connection between us and the Force's will."

"I see" the Jedi had a hard time to digest Ezra's theory. "But why? Why would the Force do such a thing?"

"Blast it, Kanan, if I know that, what do you think, would I ask you?!" snapped the boy, immediately regretting his lack of control over himself. He was slipping, and he was aware of it.

A fierce warning came from his left. "Language, Ezra Bridger!"

"Sorry, Hera. I just have this damn... urgh... bad headache, and..." Ezra became silent, like he had been cut off by an invisible force and got frozen in the moment.

"What is it? What's happening?" Kanan was getting concerned when the teenager didn't finish his sentence. Ezra and silence in the same context was never a good thing.

Hera waved a hand in front of the boy's face, then frowned. "Don't know, love. He is kind of... out."

"Out? How?" Kanan tried to check on the kid through the Force, but the boy still was shutting him out.

The Jedi wasn't fond of his Padawan's new ability. Not at all.

Hera's worried expression didn't change a bit as she answered. "Staring at one point. Ezra? Are you all right? Ezra? Ezra!" the Twi'lek's attempt on getting Ezra back to them was a waste of time. Changing tactic she shook the kid's shoulders for a few times when...

"What?" blinked the Lothian. He seemed a little dazed and unfocused but otherwise fine.

"Are you okay?" checked Hera his forehead just in case he was coming down with sickeness. The boy felt slightly warmer than what he normally would be, but considering the situation they were in, it wasn't such a surprise. The whole crew was worn out in more than one way. Emotional, mental or physical hurt can do that to anybody, but when you are suffering all of them at the same time... Her company reached a point beyond exhaustion. Hera was pretty sure Ezra had been hit the hardest. Not only he blamed himself, but he was the one who had seen Ahsoka staying behind with Darth Vader. Furthermore, the way he was clenching his right hand just a minute ago indicated that something still had to happen she knew nothing of yet.

All in all: both of her Jedis were in a bad shape.

"I think... I had a vision" muttered Ezra. His mind was slightly fuzzy, working on understanding what just happened.

The corner of Kanan's mouth twitched a little. "About what?"

Ezra stared at the floor, trying to remember as many details as possible. "I was at this place... maybe a planet? It was cold, and I mean very, very, very cold. Ice all over, some like... like spikes! Giant, thick spikes. And then there were these huge caves all over under the frozen surface, making a strange maze. What else... Of course, the crystals! I saw a lot of transparent crystal. It was... amazing."

Kanan stiffened as if he was struck by lightning.

He hadn't thought of that place for ages, and now, listening the rough description... he wished he could turn back time to that incredible day when he proved himself to be a potential Jedi.

Hera placed a warm palm on his shoulder, sensing his distress. "Dear?" she asked in a soft, caring tone.

Kanan gratefully put his own hand on hers. For the second time that day, he was blessing the Force for the wonderful miracle who was the Twi'lek. "I know that planet" he whispered in a distant voice. "It's Ilum."

"Ilum?" Ezra hadn't heard of it before. What could be so important about that frigid world?

Kanan turned his head toward the boy's direction. "It's one of the most sacred place for the Jedi. At the time of the Order there was a trial, 'The Gathering', in which younglings participated. A group of Initiates travelled to Ilum with a Jedi of a higher rank to harvest their crystals, therefore they would build their own lightsabers. In the Temple they were confronted by their fears and many inner obstacles. If they were successful, they earned their Cyber crystal and got one step closer to become a Padawan" summarized the man the tradition of an older day.

"Wait!" gasped Ezra. Kanan's words were oddly concordant with an event in his own life. "What you said... the Jedi Temple on Lothal... that was my gathering thing?! You know, when I got my crystal?" asked the teen, flabbergasted.

"Yes, Ezra. You accomplished the Gathering on Lothal" nodded the Jedi proudly. "I was so surprised when you showed me what you got. At that time you were in an emotionally complicated situation" here Ezra winced slightly, "but your spirit defeated everything that came up against you."

"A trial that I didn't even know of... I mean, you said something like that before we arrived, but still... a real Jedi trial..." the teenager shook his head. He didn't know that to get a crystal meant to be successful in a Jedi test. He always believed that Yoda gave it to him because he managed to overcome his fears; and he needed a little more faith in himself, too.

Ezra grimaced bitterly. Guess, 'mistake' was his second name. "Kanan, how many trials are there?"

"Ezra, this is a topic that cannot be discussed in a few minutes" the man shifted a little, not really tempted to dive into the Jedi Order's traditions. They belonged to a bygone era that, should it be able to arise from its ashes, never would be like as it had been before the Empire. "They are complex, detailed, and..." Kanan was cut off by the boy who, once again, was too petulant not to get his answer straightaway.

"Maybe you can create a shorter version" he offered. "I have a bit of an headache, and I don't think my brain is currently capable to store too much information." Ezra massaged his temples. If this pain was the revenge of the Sith Lady because of his rejection, then she truly lost her very last chance to have him as a company, he decided.

Oh, again the damn holocron behind him.

He was going to get rid of that goddamn thing. He didn't like when someone was trying to mess with his head or just had the chance to do that. Even if the pyramid was innocent... okay, bad phrase... so even if it wasn't responsible for the growing pressure in his head, the stuff had already made enough wrong and evil.

Kanan stroked his goatee with two fingers. Ezra was impatient, as always, but now maybe he should be glad for it. If telling stories and details about the Jedi life before the age of the Empire maintained the kid's curiosity towards the ways of the Jedi, then be it. He will come up with a short, dulled version.

Albeit that headache of his was a little worriesome.

The kid had refused to be examined when they got back, and until now Kanan let the boy have his own space without any disturbance. He needed to sort out Malachor in him, and the Jedi respected his wish.

But maybe it was more than a simple headache. Maybe...

"Kanan? Are you okay?"

The Jedi was yanked back to the present by Ezra's voice. "Yes" he responded, scolding himself for being distracted by his own thoughts. "I was only thinking. So, short story?"

"Uhum" hummed the boy, eager to learn about the past. A spark of keen interest was dancing in his eyes, snatching a little place for itself among the pain, desperation, self-hate and other negative feelings, emotions.

Hera smiled. Despite the last couple of days' tension, hurt and losses, the two most important men in her life still came home. To her, to the Ghost, and to the Rebellion.

Nothing else mattered right now.

Kanan took a deep breath. "There are many kinds of trials, but three of them were especially significant steps in a Jedi's life. The Jedi Initiate Trials included three trials. If the younglings were successful in them and performed the Gathering too, they could become Padawans if a Jedi Master or Knight accepted them as their apprentice. Nine trials were in the Trials of Jedi: teamwork, isolation, fear, anger, betrayal, focus, instinct, forgiveness, protection. The Trials of Knighthood could be accomplished by taking five trials."

Ezra felt a faint nudge at the mention of the Trials of Knighthood, and he sighed inwardly. Guess in these days the Force wouldn't leave him alone for even a few hours... "Could you tell me more about the last one?" he asked, masking the growing negative feelings in his stormy soul and heart. He couldn't afford his mental shield to crack; it was too weak. Fragile. If he gave into his frustration, the walls would crumble down.

Fortunately Kanan and Hera sensed nothing from the duel with himself.

One less problem.

"Of course." The Jedi started to seem sincerely happy about having an opportunity to talk about a piece of the Jedi tradition. "The Trial of Skill was about avoiding distraction through self-discipline during a lightsaber duel. The Trial of Courage... well, with one word: danger. You had to show your courage in a battle or take a mission where the chances to survive were next to nothing; it wasn't uncommon if someone died during this trial. The Trial of Flesh signified the biggest challenge in every aspect: the Padawan had to overcome physical pain, maybe even loss. Sometimes they died during the trial or got dismemberment. The Trial of Spirit was often referred as Facing the Mirror. Usually you took it in a meditative state. Occasionally it made Padawans mentally broken, because generally they had to face up to their greatest enemy: the dark side of themselves. This kind of self-discovery was very... hard emotionally. The last one is the Trial of Insight. Practically it was about to see through the Force. This way you can distinguish the fake from the real, be it someone's persona or find that is being hidden. You had to see what **is** , not what you **believe**. And, to become a Master, you had to retake the Trails of Knighthood, just in a more intense form."

"Oh, what fun!" electric sapphire orbs darted at Kanan as soon as the man finshed his explanation. "If you didn't die or go crazy during these trials, you still could be crippled. Lovely" grimaced the Lothian. Jedis supposed to be peacekeepers, but their trials were brutal. He knew it was because they had to show that they were reliable and responsible, ready to embrace the path they had choosen. Still... what happened to a shattered minded Force user? Had they locked them into a room for the rest of their life or what?

Suddenly something clicked in his brain, like if a few pieces of a great puzzle would have been put in their right place, allowing a glimpse of the greater picture. It was still hidden, but some of its parts could be decided what they were about.

"Karabast!" Ezra swore, gobsmacked.

He understood.

At least, he uderstood.

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRS**

 **Now, now, we are going somewhere at least... My description about the Trials may a little too rough, so if you want to know about them propely, I advixe you 'Wookieepedia.'**

 **Also, if you have a little time, please, leave me a review. Or send a PM.**

 **Have a nice week! :)**

 **~Magic~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi!**

 **It's been a while since the latest update, I know... but I've been busy, sorry.**

 **Also, someone wise adviced me to split the original Chapter 4 to more parts (over 12 000 words would have been really long...).**

 **As always, thank you,** **Sins007** **, for your work and words.**

 **Starlight** **, your answers are coming, slowly. (I have a special someone to do most of the explanation -later-, but we won't be as clueless as before.)**

 **Disclaimer** **: I don't own the Star Wars Universe, just this story's plot.**

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Hera watched in complete astonishment as Ezra's facial expression changed from sardonic and bitter to utterly bewildered. Whatever was going in the boy's mind, it had to be quite an exploration. Given his inner world... delicate state, the Twi'lek got a little anxious about what he would say.

Really, Ezra suspiciously looked like someone who was going to lose it; the crazy, tiny glint in his eyes only confirmed that.

"I knew, I KNEW! The whole mission was a set up!" he shouted practically to nobody. "I can't believe it! Master Yoda and the Force, both of them are so subtle! So sly!"

"What?" Kanan asked, confused by the boy's unaccustomed, dramatic outburst.

Were the trials disturbing the kid? Were the old customs the secret behind Ezra's strange behaviour? But what could they do with Master Yoda being sly?

"Set up?"

Due to his building frustration, the Lothian was at the edge of screaming. "That! Can't you see it? Don't you understand?"

The man could detect from his Padawan's tone, he successfully managed to work himself up. Not good. Not at all. "Ezra, calm down! If you act like a Bantha chased by a horde of Tusken Raiders, we'll get nowhere."

After a few seconds he heard a slow, even exhale; Ezra was using one of the methods that helped the Jedi to find peace.

"Great, now keep at it. Focus on your breathing. Slowly in. Slowly out. There's no hurry. In. Out. In. Out."

As he was instructing the teenager, he couldn't help but ponder on whether the other one realized he couldn't leave the way of the Jedi behind him so easily. He was adopting a part of it even now.

"Okay, I'm fine" Ezra enunciated when he finished the eleventh repeat.

"Are you?" Kanan tilted his head. He didn't feel up to the usual battling for Ezra's honest confession about his well-being.

"All right, I'm better!" the boy corrected his previous answer.

Seriously, Kanan could find the worst times to show his hair-splitting side! Fine or better, it made no odds, cause the end result was the same: he got more settled than before.

"Can we return to matters with more importance? For example, I don't know, the reason of why did we have to go to Malachor?"

Hera shook her head. "We've been through this and figured nothing out."

"I've just solved a part of it" Ezra declared. All those hours of brooding over the topic without much result! He didn't think it would require knowledge about the past's ways to understand the present's.

However, it did.

"The trials." Kanan stiffened.

The kid had some serious problem in his head, it was official now. "What has Malachor to do with any of the Jedi trials?"

His incredulity was evident even to his own ears, but it hardly bothered him in comparison the boy's trail of thoughts, not knowing where it would lead.

Ezra jumped up and began to pace, feeling too... whatever was whirling inside of him, he doubted it had a name; and even if it had one, he wasn't exactly keen on defining it.

"You have already been a Knight when , on Malachor , you retook the Trials of Skill, Courage and Flesh."

The boy held a little pause for his next sentence's weight could have all of its shocking impact on Kanan.

"All you need is to accomplish the last ones to become a Jedi Master."

"I... what?!" the Jedi stuttered, flabbergasted. Was the Holocron still influencing Ezra? Did the kid finally had a breakdown? Or was he so desperate to find some sense in the chaos that he would clutch at

any kind of straw?

Kanan didn't want to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Ezra was right, and the Force had made a twisted plan to test them. The man didn't dare to do so, because if he did, he might would see

the power which connected everything and everyone together in a whole new light- and not necessarily in a better one.

"I still don't know how and why I was knighted. But a Master? It's an insane theory!"

He wished the kid to be wrong. He wished that the Force had nothing to do with Malachor, that it would never take such a drastic measure. However, he was also aware of the doleful rarity of his wishes coming

true.

The Lothian was unyielding. Call it the Force or common sense, but he knew he was on the right track. Also, his notoriety for being stubborn in itself guaranteed he would carry on.

"Your knighthood isn't a wonder." he stated matter-of-factly. "I think we can recall all of the events when you were successful in one of the trials."

"Ezra..." Hera tried to calm the blue haired teenager down, but for a second time that day, Ezra pretended not to hear her.

He just strolled back and forth in the tiny room, carefully watching not to bump into Hera or Kanan.

"The Trial of Flesh is easy. When you, Kanan, were captured by the Grand Inquisitor, the torture had to be hell enough to accomplish the physical pain part. Also, for a short time you thought I was dead, so you endured loss, too."

Ezra didn't leave time for disapproval, he was speaking so fast. He knew he had a knack for doing stupid things, but he himself hardly could be called silly.

Idiot? Reckless?

Certainly.

Stupid?

Oh, no. He was smart and intelligent, occasionally overly so even for his own good.

"The Trial of Courage may have happened at the same time. You stayed behind to save us in spite of the probability they were going to kill you sooner rather than later. If that's not courage, then I don't know what is. Hey, and your fight with the Grand Inquisitor could be your Trial of Skill. I mean, you fought him and was in control despite believing me dead. Now excuse me if I'm mistaken, but in my opinion the death of their Padawan can be an enormous distraction for a Master."

Kanan sensed Ezra passing by him roughly for the hundredth time. Usually he would find himself annoyed by the kid's restless energy, not even mentioning his methods to use it to get on the crew's nerves, but not this time.

At the back of his mind , he knew that his Padawan's point of view was reasonable and possible; nevertheless, Ezra's last remark swept everything else away.

"You didn't die." Kanan felt his throat a bit tighter than what would be comfortable.

He would never forget when he watched Ezra fall down into the depth, not knowing about the catwalk below. Kanan had learned that day there were bigger sufferings than the loss of his Master. Depa Billaba had been his mentor and the closest thing that a true Jedi could call family.

Ezra Bridger, as a part of his family, was like a son to him. One of the cruelest

things in the world was to be the witness of your child's death, and after that somehow gathers the will to live and fight longer for the others. Kanan mustered the strength up to do it once. He wouldn't be able for a next time.

His bond with Ezra grew stronger and stronger with every sunrise.

Although, for now, it was a bit shaken, the Jedi couldn't deny its more powerful nature compared his bond's with Master Billaba. How it could be, he didn't know. However, would this connection be

severely damaged by one of them in any kind of way...

There was indubitably worse fate than death.

"It was you who thought that" Ezra argued, not breaking his pacing off. "Plus,

it's kind of obvious that I'm still alive."

He wasn't intent on hurting Kanan or seem being heartless, but he knew they couldn't afford mulling over the past. Not yet. Once upon a time he saw Kanan be slaughtered by the Grand Inquisitor; the very same evil also killed the Ghost crew.

Ezra had experienced what it took emotionally to get over the loss. The pain didn't lessen just because you realized that the terrible events were nothing but illusions. The pictures of the dying ones wouldn't erase themselves from your brain, hereby they were leaving fake memories. The sound of their screams would haunt you in your worst nightmares, repeating themselves again and again, until they would be the only thing to hear.

If he had to be cold due to getting somewhere during this conversation, then he would be. He just couldn't allow Kanan wasting their precious time while the man would be trying to get out from the mud of feelings.

Maybe the darkness wasn't merely a problem after all. It helped him to make a decision that, otherwise, he would be hesitant to...

Ezra stopped, turning his back toward Hera and Kanan. He didn't want them... he didn't want the Twi'lek to see the fury and disgust which were showing on his face. He nearly fell for the trick. He had to admit it, the Dark Side had a few good, sneaky solutions -and this one was especially clever and sly-, but against someone who was currently doubting his actions, it wasn't the best plan.

He said those things to Kanan not because of 'getting somewhere', but to prevent the Jedi from the further pain that the memories would bring back with themselves. He, Ezra, had already been damaged and broken enough. If there was even a little hurt that he could take away from his family, then he would do anything to achieve it.

It was his own resolution. The tempting, forbidden power had no intervention in it.

He was still himself.

Hera frowned at the boy's neglectful words. Did he has no inkling about what kind of pain Kanan would be in should something happen to Ezra? And what was that pyramid on the floor? Could it be the

Holocron from Malachor that supposed to remain there?

The woman knew it wasn't the time to ask her questions, but one day she would demand answers. For now she was just an observer, interfering in as little as possible, and praying for Ezra to find himself again.

The Jedi bowed his head a little. Yes, Ezra was temporarily safe and sound, but who knew how long it would last.

He was the one who should protect the child. Needless to say, being blind reduced his abilities, therefore he wouldn't be able to go on missions like before. Unless he could find a way to help his family in action, the responsibility and hardships of being a leader would fall upon Ezra's shoulders. Well, supposing the kid would take it instead of searching another place for himself in the Rebellion, frightened of his new role.

Kanan genuinely believed, with time and practice Ezra would be a great leader. He showed his suitability when the Jedi had been captured by Kallus, Tarkin and the Grand Inquisitor. Hera told him everything about how they managed to rescue him, how large part Ezra played in it; actually, larger than any other member of the Ghost crew. The teenager was the first one who decided to go against his Captain's words. Sabine and Zeb just followed him.

Here, the key word. Followed.

Those two agreed to keep him company despite not having a clue about their destination. They trusted him without any doubt whether that little mission of theirs was an imprudent action. Also the boy was the one who came up with the plan to use Chopper to gain information regarding Kanan's whereabouts. How he managed to convince the grumpy astromech of that, Kanan didn't know. Neither could he fathom how the kid got the same droid to help them to filch the Phantom, whereas even Chop wouldn't desire Hera's wrath on his dome.

So, yes, his Padawan had the qualities of a leader, he just had to grow into them. Fighting himself wouldn't support him to achieve his full potential.

Ezra, who had no clue about what kind of future was destined for him by Kanan, was doing his very best to get over on the latest attack of the Dark Side. He knew he should tell about it to the Jedi, but there were so many things he should share with him as well! Furthermore, if he brought what happened not even a minute ago up, Kanan would order him to meditate, hereby clearing his mind and calming his emotions.

Due to the lack of time Ezra decided to postpone this oh so predictable scene. The Force had been urging him on since Kanan described the trials. The nerve-racking fact was that he couldn't switch the tiny place in his mind which was taken up by the Force off. The will of the Galaxy's utmost power kept nudging him forward and forward, directing him on an invisible path in the middle of chaos. He couldn't imagine where - or rather, what- would be the terminus. Only one thing was crystal clear: he had to obey. He had to listen to the Force.

The boy turned back toward his company.

Kanan wore a neutral expression on his face... Well, something like that. It was hard to judge because of the white bandage covering his damaged eyes. Hera, on the other hand, was staring at him with 'The Look': slightly knitted brows, a hint of frown on the forehead; those unbelievably expressive green fields of her orbs also were sporting a hint of steel.

'The Look' was a special thing. When Hera gave it to someone - usually Kanan was at the receiving end of it - , that person became doomed.

'The Look' was the sign of Hera being determined to have a serious talk with you, and there was no way to avoid it. You could be hiding from her for a couple of days, but not more. She would find you, and when she did, you would have no choice but confess.

Ezra's stomach dropped. He absolutely forgot, it wasn't Kanan he should be afraid of the most. The Twi'lek was a far more insightful person, and she also had a way to make penitent crew members admit anything they did wrong. Likewise to that, she always got the Specters to talk about what was hurting them, too.

The boy continued to pace, abandoning every dark thought and secret which burdened his young mind. The conversation about the trials wasn't over yet. At least, not from his side. "We've already discussed

three trials so far. There are still two, the Trials of Spirit and Insight" he was thinking loudly. If he could make the other male see reason, if he could get Kanan to accept that the Jedi had really taken the Trials of Knighthood, the next step would be a lot more easier. Namely, to persuade the man about how close he was to be a real Master.

"Kanan, the second time in the Jedi Temple on Lothal. What happened?"

The man told them that he had been knighted, but he wouldn't talk about the circumstances. And, even if the Lothian nearly died from the curiosity, Ezra didn't try to grill him. He learned that what happened to a Jedi in a Jedi Temple, that was the Jedi's own business. As for what happened to a Jedi-in-training in a Sith

Temple... he wasn't sure what to think about that kind of instance. It seemed to many people's business at the same time.

Kanan pressed his lips together into a straight, hard line. Nobody knew what had been said there, not even Hera. He didn't want her to be upset, and, for once, the Twi'lek didn't push him about it; somehow she sensed that speaking wouldn't help, no matter what.

"The Temple Guard, who knighted me, said... what he said was a real killer to hear. However, nothing of it had connections to my Dark Side" the man answered, his whole attention on the kid, anew.

His Padawan was the more important one, not him, and it would never change. Ezra stopped again, then sat back to his former place between Kanan and Hera, assuming he should not be standing when he asked his next question. Because when Kanan said the word 'my', something in his voice was off, and it didn't take a genius to find the cause of it out.

"Of course, not. " he repeated slowly. "Your biggest fear isn't your dark side, is it?" The boy was dead serious, leaving no room for sarcasm or joking.

"I don't know what you are trying to suggest..."

"Come on, Kanan, don't try to fool me!" snapped Ezra. "You went through hell and back. Order 66 made you a fighter whose spirit and light is too strong to give into the darkness, thus it's not your dark side that you fears." The boy's tone became uncharacteristically soft, like he would be talking to Pypey and not the Jedi Knight. "It's mine. Your biggest fear is me turning into a monster."

Hera inhaled sharply, wide eyes glued on the blind man. "Kanan, is Ezra right?"

But she already knew the answer. She had known it ever since the teenager's first brushing with the Dark Side. The way Kanan told her later what had happened on the asteroid made it pretty clear. If back then Kanan had been lost and a little scared because of that one action, the Twi'lek wouldn't want to imagine what would happen should Ezra become the prisoner of the darkness, as their bond got stronger and stronger during the days, weeks and months.

"Yes. He is."

The Jedi had been taunted, warned and so on by the Pau'an, trying to make him believe in one of Ezra's conceivable destinies. At the end, he had accepted that maybe he wouldn't be able to save his Padawan on one, fateful day. With time he may would lose him to the darkness, turning them into each other's enemy. But until then he would do everything in his power to prevent that horrible, terrible event. He would teach his Padawan just like he had said it to the Temple Guard. Or had sworn it in front of Master Yoda's presence.

"Sometimes it's not your own darkness that is your biggest fear, but the possibility of losing someone to it who is dear to you."

A piece of Ezra died at that moment; the pure solemnity of the Jedi's words was too much to bear.

Kanan could have been worried about Hera being killed or the downfall of the Rebellion, yet neither of them was his biggest fear. He was afraid for Ezra, for the street-rat who caused more harm than did good. For him who undeniably was on a highway to the Dark Side.

For a boy who always got the crew into trouble.

Ezra swallowed hard. He didn't deserve the concern and love he got from Kanan, from the others. He felt his emotions getting control over him, but he managed to push them behind their barrier once more. He doubted he would be capable to do it again; every time this task became more and more difficult to perform.

"I have no idea about what you said or did, but it was enough to pass your Trial of Spirit, I guess". The boy purposefully avoided any further talking about his dark side or anything else that could lead to the topic.

"Trial of Insight? I don't think it will be easy to specify..."

"No, it's not" Kanan agreed.

He was glad for Ezra not interrogating him about what had been said in the Temple. The kid had already been aware more than he should have. After what happened on Malachor, this knowledge would only shatter him to so tiny pieces, they couldn't put him together again.

"Maybe we can find a pattern. I mean, in the other four trials" Hera offered. She knew a thing or two about her boys, and she was sure of that earlier a lot of things hadn't been said out loud.

Things that would hurt them even more.

Although it was a bit forced, but Kanan smiled at least. "It's a good idea, Hera."

"I know, love" the Twi'lek smirked in response, satisfied with her small victory. Her next mission was to get Ezra to curve his lips up in the same manner as the other Jedi had done.

The teenager was in deep thinking. "The easiest one is the Trial of Spirit. It was about me." And it didn't make him proud at all. On the contrary: he was ashamed. Kanan didn't tell concrete details about his

time with that Temple Guard; however, he didn't have to. Ezra knew now: he was the one who could hurt the older male the most. He could cause so much amount of pain that it would raze Kanan, leaving nothing

but the shell of him.

Would the Lothian be consumed by the Dark Side, the Rebellion would simultaneously lose its last Jedi. Their bond was so solid that if one of them soul's was gone in any form, the other one's also would cease

to exist as it was before.

The boy had no false illusions. His risk factors were way more numerous than Kanan's.

Hera nodded. "The others, they are also connected to you. You were there or they were because of you."

"Okay... Then tell me, what could be the Trial of Insight? Seeing me?!" Ezra raised an eyebrow, dark mood all forgotten.

The Jedi's chin dropped a little at hearing this. The kid had just hit the nail on the head.

"Exactly."

"What?" The teenager couldn't decide whether Kanan was joking or just being his mysterious Jedi-self.

"You can s... meet me every day. Where is the challenge in it?"

He nearly said 'see' - and it would have been a very bad choice of words. Disastrous.

"I will tell you" Kanan said, oddly calm. "The challenge is to see a great, pure and caring soul under the layers of a witty, annoying, seemingly selfish and careless street-rat. Ever since our first encounter on Lothal I haven't been seeing you only with my eyes. The Force helped me to know you just as much."

Ezra gulped. This made sense. If he would meet his former self... he didn't think he would trust that Ezra for even a second. As for coming back for him to the enemy's ship where they very well could have been

caught by the Empire... He wouldn't have done such a thing for that kid had he been Kanan at that time.

Never.

"So you are the reason of my knighthood" the Jedi announced. He didn't sound too flabbergasted by this, as if the clarification of Ezra's role would have been the last key to open the door of his acceptance.

Maybe it was...


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi there!**

 **Wow, people, I'm flabbergasted. So many favourites, alerts, and the best: reviews!**

 **Thank you for them, really.**

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Chapter 5

"So you are the reason of my knighthood" the Jedi announced.

Maybe it was.

He embraced his past because of Ezra.

The little troublemaker from Lothal, who had given them quite a chasing, whom Kanan had offered a chance for a future with more purpose; he was the glue which held the past months together.

Yes, the kid definitely was in the middle of everything in the last near two years. Without Ezra, he might still have been a hidden former Padawan, not a well-known Jedi Knight who did what he had been taught in another lifetime.

The teenager was their most important member.

The Ghost crew could be considered as a body, all of them having their respected piece of it.

Hera, the heart, was the mismatched family's caring, but fierce mother. The one who could handle the emotions and people. The warmth in the frozen world of the Empire, Siths and wars. The morality of a better Galaxy.

He, even if his plans sometimes didn't work out as they were supposed to do, was the head, the brain. Their mental part.

Zeb, as the muscle and strength of the Specters, was the power they always could rely on. Occasionally he even showed some wisdom, too.

Sabine was the system, helping everything and everyone else to function. Searching for information about anything, her miracles, the skill of observation, her art and sharp mind, fighting training and so on – these all kept their little family running perfectly.

Chopper... he was Chopper. His mood influenced the others' on the ship, and if he had a bad day, the Force helps those who were around the astromech.

To summarize, they had already been a properly working body before Ezra.

However, when the boy had come abroad and joined them, he became the one thing they didn't even know they missed all the time: their soul. The spirit which gave life to them and the case they stood for.

The heart could be broken and the mind shattered. The muscle could lose its strength, the system could be shut down. Yet, all of them were able to heal, to regenerate themselves.

Spirit was another thing. It was the hardest to destroy, but if someone managed to do so, it also was the most difficult to get back even on a certain level. To retrieve a lost soul was next to impossible.

In addition, it had one more handicap, namely, it couldn't heal itself, just be healed. That was why Ezra, however trying to deny it with all his might, needed the most care, concern and love.

Hera sensed that the blind man's mind was far away from them. She knew him so well, she always could define the Jedi's current state from his smallest behavior's changes, or the lack of it. "Ezra, you said that Kanan passed three Trials on Malachor, too."

The boy looked at the Twi'lek.

How could she and Kanan stay so sober?! Until now the Knight thought that his theory was crazy. Hera too was doubtful. Yet, here they were, both of them speaking all casually like they would only discuss the weather of Atollon and not the shocking fact, that Ezra Bridger, who had been called by the Darkness several times so far, provided opportunities for a complete Jedi trial.

Okay, he could play this kind of game. His throbbing head wouldn't really mind it. "That's right. The Trial of Flesh... well that one is obvious" Ezra gestured toward the bandaged eyes with a pang of guilt. He should have been more cautious with Maul, not...

Focus. He needed to focus. "Courage. He left for Malachor, and it was quite a dangerous mission into the unknown. Get blinded and still manage to duel with a former Sith, now that's the Skill, isn..." the teenager frowned, his brain furiously working on a new idea. "These trials come in groups... Kanan, how were you able to fight? Your sight had been taken away, after all, and you still remained a more than worthy opponent. What did you do? How did you do?"

"Instincts and the Force" the Jedi responded. He gaped a little as soon as he caught up with Ezra's trail of thoughts. "You think...?"

"Yes. The fourth. The Trial of Insight. I remember the time when we met Rex and the others. The sand storm, when we had to escape from the walkers? To shoot had been hard enough, so if you fought that way like I had hit the machine... then definitely the Trial of Insight. You saw through the Force, literally."

"This is insane! Why would I had these trials?!" Kanan, for the first time since the possibility of earning the rank of a Master had been mentioned, came really close to give up. It was too sudden, too real.

And what would he do as a blind Jedi Master?! Whom could he teach if Ezra's training itself was going to be problematic?

"Why not?" Ezra retorted. "You are an amazing Jedi, and this is not the time of the Order anymore. Everything has changed. And it would be kind of impossible to do things in the old way, wouldn't it? What does always say the Jedi? The Force works in mysterious ways?"

"Indeed" Hera answered instead of Kanan. She didn't allow him time to find a way to defy the Lothian. The man needed to hear what the boy wanted to tell him, and she was going to make sure it would come true.

"Furthermore, a Sith Temple is just as much a Temple of the Force as a Jedi one, isn't it?"

Kanan opened his mouth to protest against Ezra's statement, but he had to realize, the kid didn't say any rubbish. Be it Sith or Jedi, both of them used the Force, depended on it. So even if it was... disturbing a lot, Siths and Jedis were alike through their connection to the Force.

Besides, the Trials of Spirit and Insight used to take place in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, or other places where the Force's presence was strong.

"It's an unorthodox way of thinking, Ezra!" the Jedi said eventually.

The boy shrugged, knowing this round was his win. "Unorthodox? Probably. Although you didn't deny what I've just said."

Kanan shook his head. Trust Ezra to find the loophole, no matter what.

The Twi'lek glanced at the kid in a questioning way. "If I'm correct, then one more trial and Kanan will be a Master."

"Yes" the teenager replied, certain of his truth.

"But I'm not ready, and..." Kanan remonstrated against the possibility. He knew he was outnumbered, but he wouldn't give up without a fight.

Ezra sighed. He started to understand what Kanan had to endure during their trainings. "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge."

"Fine!" the man grumbled. Sulking wasn't the Jedi way, but when you had Hera Syndulla and Ezra Bridger against you... maybe even Master Yoda would have wanted to stop being a Jedi for a few minutes.

Hera smiled fondly. Here you are, a grown Jedi, being reduced to a peevish kid. The youngest of the Specters had some talent, no doubt. "What about Ezra?" she asked out of the blue, startling the Lothian.

"Me?!" It was Ezra's turn to be bewildered. His Captain had to be kidding.

She just had to.

"Maybe you also took trials, didn't you?" Hera suggested, emerald orbs not letting his sapphire ones.

"Yeah, the Trial of Foolishness" the boy murmured. He really, really didn't want the attention to be directed toward him. However, escaping from Hera was a more impossible task than that anyone would ever imagine. Plus, he had already got 'The Look'.

"Be reasonable, Ezra!" the Twi'lek commanded . She wasn't going to let Ezra out from the discussion. He needed a purpose and some confidence in himself. Perhaps he could get both of them this way.

"Why? I've never made any of those trials, except the gathering stuff..." Ezra knew this excuse wouldn't be enough for the Ghost's captain.

"Your case is more interesting than mine, I must admit it."

The boy groaned. Great, the Jedi Knight, as the cavalry, also decided that he should be the next target. Wonderful. There wasn't a dull moment in his life. "Of course..."

"It is" the man assured him. "I myself was a former Padawan when I started teaching you" Kanan bowed his head so low that his chin poked his collarbone. The posture suspiciously looked like if he was ashamed of something. "Padawans don't tend to be Masters for other Padawans, and with good reason" he whispered in a resigned tone.

Ezra felt his anger awaking. "It's not your fault you couldn't finish your training in the old, traditional way. The Empire destroyed everything that once was so natural in the people's everyday life, like children growing up under the care of their parents in a peaceful world. Now most of the kids don't even know what it means to be asleep in a home where is no need to be afraid. They learn at a very young age that a lot of thought cannot be spoken in front of the others, because words can lead to disappearances."

This time it was Ezra who bowed his head.

He would never forget what the Empire had done to him. What it did to anyone who was brave enough to stand up and go against the regime.

Hera abruptly enveloped him into a warm, motherly hug. "One day all the children will have happy dreams. When they wake up, they would be allowed to be so chatty that they're going to drive their mums, dads and siblings mad" she promised, whispering into his ear. "We are fighting against the Empire; not for the bloodshed's sake, but for our freedom's. And we don't give up, not until the people of this Galaxy won't be free.

Ezra relaxed for a minute in the healing embrace. After gaining enough strength, he gently pushed away the Twi'lek. "Thank you, Hera. I guess, I needed it" he smiled sheepishly, still bathing in the feeling of unconditional love. The Ghost's owner possessed so much love in her heart that if she gave from it to every soul in the Galaxy, she still would be left with a great amount.

"You're welcome" the green skinned female spoke softly, emerald eyes sparking delighted. She got his smile at least.

"So..." the boy clapped his hands together, a little calmer by the comforting gesture. "Where were we?"

"I was talking about your unusual circumstances" Kanan, although not being able to see, knew perfectly well what Hera just did.

Sometimes home wasn't a place, but the people around you.

"Okay, got it. Padawans, right?"

"Right" Kanan agreed. He was happy for Ezra being in a more lively mood. "Oddly enough, I've become a Jedi Knight by more or less maintaining the Order's rules. Now, you have been something entirely else ever since the beginning."

"Really... what a surprise! I thought it's a basic thing for Jedis to have something stolen from them by random kids." The good-humored mocking was a sign to the adults, Ezra still had a part of his old self in him. Though it was nowhere compared to how he had been, but it was a start.

The man smirked. A witty Ezra was much better than a silent or self-blaming one. "I'm afraid you misunderstood me, cheeky one. At the time of the Order the younglings were brought to Coruscant at a very, very young age... preferably just a few months old. As far as I know, only one child became a Padawan at a way, way older age. Although there could be more of them. The Order always had its secrets." Maybe Ezra was right and Jedis had been too secretive, mused Kanan.

The boy's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "But weren't cruel to the children to be ripped away from their family?"

Kanan shook his head. "This way they didn't get attachments. To be a Jedi is a state of mind and a way of living. The earlier you begin to learn it, the better Jedi you can be. Few of the Order's rules are... were too unacceptable for someone who lived out there for years beforehand" he explained.

Ezra couldn't believe it. Every creature should be able to love and be loved. If Jedis didn't have close relationships, then how were they supposed to live... in general?

He knew how it felt to be alone, unloved; and he didn't want to experience it for a next time. Those years he had like that were, well, not good by any means.

Ezra swallowed his disapproval, because who was he to judge the system of thousands years? A nobody, really. "The older child you mentioned, what was their name?"

Kanan shifted a little before he gave the answer. "Anakin Skywalker."

"The amazing guy from the holovideo!" Ezra exclaimed, enthusiasm evident in his voice. Just a few seconds later his face suddenly fell. "He was Ahsoka's Master."

"Yes" Kanan said. "He was a nine-year-old boy from the Tatooine. The High Council didn't want him to be trained due to his age, but the Jedi Master who had found him, and later the Master's Padawan were both very persistent."

Ahsoka's Master.

Ezra frowned. This phrase made him wary from an unknown reason.

What did the Togruta say to the black malice when she saved him, the foolish boy? Some earth shattering revelations, that was sure. But what?

'Oh, come on!' Ezra scolded himself. 'You were there. You saw them fighting. You also should be able to recall what they said to each other! Think! Even a few words would be very helpful.'

He remembered something about a mask... 'Behind that mask', that was it! There was also the word 'Master'; 'destroy'... and 'vile' too... And he would swear on his own life, he heard Ahsoka speaking with the Sith like they had been old acquaintances and vice versa...

Ahsoka's Master... Master... my Master.

Karabast!

Darth Vader was no one other than Anakin Skywalker himself! Ahsoka Tano's former Master was the curse on this galaxy!

Ezra concentrated on not freaking out. He wouldn't freak out. Why should he?

Black Cape knew that he knew who was the Sith before falling for the Darkness. If Vader wanted to destroy everything that could remind him who he had been, and he knew that Ezra knew his secret, then the Sith wouldn't let it go.

The boy was in trouble. Even if the half-machine wasn't thinking this way – as Ezra could have been spreading the news all across the space since Malachor –, the teenager had been there with Ahsoka. And if Darth Vader didn't want to remember his former Padawan, then he certainly neither wanted Ezra Bridger roaming free in the galaxy and occasionally bump into each other.

Ezra felt the darkness stir in him.

Self-discipline. He couldn't allow himself to lose control. Not when he was so vulnerable. Not when the Dark Side's temptation was so great he had to struggle to keep it at bay.

He wouldn't tell anyone. Not yet.

Kanan had already suffered enough in his life; he was suffering at this very moment, too. To learn that his kind had been wiped away by one of their own... He couldn't do that to him. He couldn't cause more pain to the man.

This knowledge was a burden he needed to carry alone for the time being.

Hera saw how pale Ezra had become, but she thought it happened because of accusing himself for Ahsoka's fate. She had no idea about the discovery Ezra had just made.

The boy tried to be seen as composed as much he could. Only when he would be alone, hidden from the watchful eyes and ears, could he fall apart. "I was way older when we met. So in the eye of the Council I wouldn't have stood a chance, would I?"

Anakin was younger than him and fell to the dark. How... no, he wouldn't get there. He wouldn't think about what the Jedi had become. He wouldn't compare Vader with himself.

Too late. He had already done it in the back of his mind.

"I won't lie to you, Ezra" Kanan's voice was full of regret. He wanted so badly to comfort the kid, to tell him everything was going to be all right– but that would have been a lie. Talking about the past and the 'what if's was just as hurtful as facing with the reality of the present. Yet, to allow wounds to heal properly, they needed to be treated with the utmost care. Even if it meant to endure more pain during the stitching. "You would have been too old."

Ezra wasn't too surprised to hear it. He always wondered if it was just because of pure chance and the lack of Jedi that he could be a Padawan.

Well, now he knew, he was right.

Kanan was determined to lift some weight off from his words' cruel meaning. "However, don't forget: Lothal had a Jedi Temple." There is a good chance someone would have felt you in the Force and brought you to Coruscant in time."

Undoubtedly would have sensed someone Ezra, thought the Jedi. If he, still a Padawan at that time, was able to do that on Lothal, then to a Jedi Master who didn't abandon his path for years would have taken no time to find baby Ezra.

It was a great luck that the Grand Inquisitor only came to Lothal because of Kanan revealing himself. Would he have been there before the Ghost crew, and find the kid...

No, the Pau'an couldn't bother them anymore, and, after everything, Ezra still stayed with the Specters. That was all what mattered to Kanan.

"Nice thought..." the boy sneered. The look on Hera's face made him realize he was too harsh. They just wanted to help him, but he was slipping away. Despite being in the same room with his mother and father figure, he had never felt more alone. The fight with himself built a wall between him and the world, and now he was continuously banging against it.

"Ezra."

Although the Twi'lek's smooth voice soothed him a little, the teenager knew better. It was merely a flying calm. "Sorry, Hera" he apologized, trying to devise a credible reason for his snapping. "It's just hard to believe, once upon a time there was a world where things weren't this messed up.

The woman smiled sadly. The boy couldn't deceive her, but for now, she would play along. Soon she would get her answers, anyway. "It is."

Kanan didn't make a remark. He didn't want Ezra to be more worked up than he had already been. "Your age and the lack of Jedi have made your path a unique one from the very first moment."

"Care to explain what you mean?" The youngest Specter was more in control, yet still a far cry from what could have been called 'fine'.

"Yes, Ezra. We talked about my supposed trials..."

"Not supposed" Hera said sternly, cutting Kanan off. Jedis were the most stubborn creatures in the whole Galaxy!

Kanan also murmured something about women and their stubborn nature to himself. "Okay, not supposed. Whatever. My point is, you took some part of the Trials of Jedi on Lothal."

"What?!" Okay, another gobsmacked moment, thought Ezra. He wondered how many he already had that day.

"You took trials during your Gathering. Initiates aren't suppose to... Right, I forgot. You missed that part. You've never been an Initiate" the Jedi frowned. "Your rank has been always Padawan..."

With Ezra nothing, nothing at all happened as it should have been at the time of the Order. He started to learn too late and got in the thick of the war too early.

When he joined the crew, he had no idea what the Force was, yet he used it more naturally than an Initiate would have. And, while most of the Jedis had to be taught in everything by others, Ezra half of the time discovered his abilities by himself– like his first Force Push.

He let his emotions rule him, but when it came to establish a connection with another creature, the kid was one of the most talented Force users whom Kanan had ever met. Moreover, he did the mind trick at first try. Interesting fact was, both of them required focus and serenity; things that not occurred the boy otherwise.

All in all, Ezra's main abilities were physically his agility, mentally his quick-thinking. As for his strength in the Force, the kid was extremely good with Force Pushes, Force Pulls, and with things concerning minds.

Any servant of the Dark Side would find quite intriguing this kind of combination.

After a half minute of silence Hera gently patted Kanan's shoulder. "Love?" she asked in a slightly worried tone.

Ezra, too, started to be restless. As long as Kanan was speaking, he didn't have the opportunity to ponder on such 'bagatelle' stuffs like the true identity of Darth Vader...

"Sorry, I got a little distracted" Kanan said, paying attention to them again. If he stayed in the moment, later he could have plenty of time for meditating and clearing his head. "I do know that you, Ezra, accomplished the teamwork and the focus. At every Gathering these trials were taken by the Initiates. They needed to focus the Force on the entrance of Ilum's Temple, then open it together. Focus and teamwork. Just like we did on Lothal."

 _'Just like you did with Maul on Malachor'_ a cold voice whispered in Ezra's mind. The same one from the Holocron and the Sith Temple. _'You were a team.'_

He and Kanan. They deactivated that damn thing, as a Master and his Padawan, together. Together! His team included Kanan, not some former Sith!

"That's two" Ezra counted, ignoring the intruder of his brain. Well, he tried to ignore it, but the Dark Side somehow managed to gain enough power to attack him once more.

The Jedi continued the enumeration.

"Isolation? You were alone in your quest."

 _'Just like when you went to the top of the Sith Temple to activate it, and faced with Darth Vader'_ the darkness recalled. It seemed to have a counterpart for every trial. _'Or when you fell down and met Maul.'_

"Then there are the fear, the anger and the betrayal. I think at least one of those occurred you" Kanan said, not aware of the battle inside the boy.

"Actually, all of them" Ezra confessed. "The Grand Inquisitor... he was one of my obstacles. He made me fear." He blessed Hera for not interrupting his conversation with Kanan. She could be... difficult, but now she was doing nothing, just listening without any reaction.

 _'Like Darth Vader on Malachor'_ the voice whispered unmercifully. _'The moment when you realized that the whole Temple was a weapon, and you were the one who activated its destructive system... it was priceless, child'_ chuckled the Sith Lady.

Ezra clenched his fist.

Yes, he activated that damned, cursed thing, but he didn't know what the kriff was that! Had he had the faintest inkling, he would have thrown the pyramid into the deepest pit of Malachor!

"I was definitely angry at some point" he growled. Kanan got killed in front of him. The man had been slaughtered, pierced by a crimson light, and he did nothing but watch it, helpless.

He was getting more and more furious even now. The Holocron was behind him, probably looking like an innocent artifact. Was he so far gone, he didn't need to touch it anymore to have its darkness taunting him?

 _'Maul blinded Kanan'_ reminded him the Sith imprint. _'But you had been angry, even before that. In the last few weeks your interaction with the Jedi Knight wasn't so flawless and smooth, was it?'_

 _'Get lost!'_ Ezra sent the mental message to the darkness. _'Kanan has never given up on me, and as long as he believes in me, I won't allow you to mess with my head!'_

Betrayal.

The crew, their words which plunged thousands of imaginary knives into his body... that feeling was one that couldn't be erased from his mind, so he also admitted it out loud. "The betrayal, that's hard to forget."

 _'You trusted the former Sith.'_ The Dark Side didn't want to retreat; not when the boy was in his most vulnerable state.

Maul. Maul. Maul. Always Maul. It seemed the Zabrak had become the bane of his existence. A shadow that couldn't get rid of.

Ezra's fingers, if they had the ability, would have been screaming from the force they were curled with into fists. Yet, they didn't have to. His right hand was in pain enough due to Darth Vader's rather aggressive solution for disarmament. Moreover, if his nice, constant headache ceased to hurt him on one day, he may would miss it.

Since Malachor he had been feeling nothing but every kind of pain. Hand, head, heart, self-blame, guilt, grief; they came in various forms, never leaving him alone.

They never did. If he had to point the one constant thing in his life out, it would be the Pain.

However, he needed to be strong...

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 **Here's a little observation of mine (kind of).**

 **I suppose, you all remember at the beginning of Rebels, when the crew goes to rescue the Wookiees.**

 **On the Ghost Kanan is just saying, he has a plan for rescuing the fur balls, but suddenly BAMM! Ezra pops up from his hiding place.**

 **Kanan's plans not working out -as they should- is one thing... but even talking about them is being so problematic...**

 **Have a nice week!**

 **(Please, leave a review or a PM if you have time)**

 **~Magic~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi there!**

 **As always, thanks everyone for reading my story; and the reviews, they make my day :)**

 **Sins007, I really don't know, what to say :D**

 **I still don't own the Star Wars Universe.**

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR**

Chapter 6

Ezra took a deep breath.

Maul wasn't here. Vader wasn't here.

Yet, his family, **they** were; and they cared for **him**. Not for his abilities.

Even now, in spite of being blinded and hurt, Kanan still tried to help him. The man was assisting the very same person whom he should blame for his recent misery. Whom he should avoid as far as he could before he would get more hurt. Whom he should have dumped the day when they learned about Luminara Unduli's death.

Someone would say, Kanan acted this way because he was a Jedi, and Jedis didn't hold grudge. Or they would refer to that, the Lothian was the only thing connecting him to his past, and thus to the memory of a more predictable life.

Ezra had a different opinion.

Kanan was doing it– because he was Kanan. A selfless man who put everyone else before him, who was ready to die if it would save others.

A true hero with a pure heart.

In the Empire's darkness and emptiness, Kanan was the most shining star of hope. The evidence of even the Imperials and Siths could not erase everything which was against their 'case'. The living sign, that in spite of how much the Empire wanted the Galaxy to believe so, the regime wasn't omnipotent or invincible.

The Jedi Knight didn't ask about the 'betrayal'. After what happened on Malachor, it might be the most hated word for the kid, and Kanan didn't want Ezra to get more distressed as he already was. "Six from nine, so far." he said. "The next one is instinct."

"Instinct, right" Ezra nodded to himself. "I managed to choose the right direction in the Jedi Temple when Master Yoda's presence joined me."

He wasn't sure if that counted. However, during the second half of the Gathering, something had changed. He managed to work out, what the Grand Inquisitor said, Kanan's death and the crew's terrible words; those things hadn't been real, just mere illusions.

Perhaps 'instinct' hadn't been a concrete event, but a process.

At the beginning he believed what his eyes and brain told him. Then, instead of those ones, he slowly started to pay attention to his guts and the Force, trusting them more than his rational part.

And, in the end, he succeeded.

 _'You failed on Malachor'_ hissed the Dark Side, having an instant retort. _'You trusted Maul. Your instinct, the very thing that helped you to survive in the past, betrayed you. How do you want to protect them, help them, if you are a disaster walking on two feet?'_ the femal voice teased him, taking pleasure in the boy's insecurity and current fragility.

It was true. He placed trust in the Zabrak, and, by this, he doomed Ahsoka and Kanan.

 _'On the grand scheme, maybe this was the best step to take.'_ It was a new voice; gentle, warm and reassuring, not like the Sith one. _'Maybe you felt like you had to trust him, and not just because you had a kinship with him.'_

The boy closed his eyes, willing his body to stay unmoving. He didn't want to alert the adults about his head becoming a madhouse... because hearing voices in your mind was the sign of you going insane, wasn't it?

Really, this day was just getting better and better... he didn't even need a Jedi trial to become crazy.

The soft, male voice hadn't finished yet. _'Everything has a reason, even if you can't see it at this very moment.'_

 _I'm insane, ain't I?'_ Ezra thought back. Since he already had some chatting with the scary Sith Lady, the Lothian saw no hindrance to do the same with the new voice.

 _'No, you did not lose your sanity, Ezra Bridger.'_

 _'Then why am I hearing voices?'_ And why was he arguing with them?!

 _'The darkness and the light are fighting within you, youngling, and they are also fighting for you. Both of them want you on its own side.'_

The Dark Side was rather obvious, but the Light? Nowadays he hardly saw anything of the other side. Unless...

 _'Are you light?'_

The stranger, whoever, chuckled. ' _No. I am not such a thing.'_

 _'Then who are you?'_

This man– since it didn't have any physical form, Ezra only could suppose its gender as a he –didn't feel cold or cruel. He was... comfortable, even if it sounded weird. Like an old friend whom the teenager had met years ago, and now they found each other again.

 _'You will learn that, young one'_ the voice promised. _'Let you be guided by the Force.'_

 _'Please, just a name! You know mine!'_ the boy begged desperately, but the warm presence didn't return.

Ezra took a deep breath, trying to figure out, what the kriff had just happened.

Some freaky man had entered into his head and said, his brief siding with Maul wasn't a fortuitous act. That it had more to it, not just his own decision.

It was even called 'best step'.

The best, but for whom?! Kanan, Ahsoka and he hadn't gained anything there, but had lost a sight, a spirit and a life. There was nothing good in that!

Was the male voice another plan of the darkness? If he was, then why did he say, the light was still fighting for him? Furthermore, why would the Dark Side give him hope, when it needed only one more crack to finally break him?!

And a grand scheme? As... his Force plot idea?

Ezra didn't know when he got so much self-discipline, but he didn't bat an eyelid during his conversation with the man-voice, or the question storm after that.

Also, he wasn't the musing, hidden-meaning-searching type, but yesterday and today he had done more thinking than ever before.

Oh, of course. Malachor. The planet and the Holocron changed him so much, even he couldn't recognize himself anymore.

"Ezra?" Kanan tilted his head. The child was too silent for the Jedi's liking, once more. "Are you all right?"

"Yes... yes, I'm okay" the boy gabbled, opening his eyes. He had an inkling, the Force put him into some kind of off-mind state, otherwise he would have got a nervous breakdown long ago.

"Are you sure, love?"

It took Ezra a few seconds to realize, Hera's endearment, the one she only used while talking to Kanan, this time was regarding him.

The green Twi'lek's eyes were full of concern, and they didn't help the boy to keep his emotions at bay. The overwhelming feelings held the threat of them bubbling into the surface in a not too manly way.

Ezra didn't want it.

Not because it would be embarrassing. He shed many tears for his parents. He also cried for Ahsoka and Kanan – and the Jedi witnessed both times, giving him silent comfort.

The man didn't judge his display of emotions, even if 'There is no emotion, there is peace.'

However, for himself, Ezra wouldn't do that. He couldn't.

He may be the one who complained all the time about, practically, everything. But when it came to serious matters, he was the last one to say anything about himself or got into self-pity.

If nobody had been willing to cast a second glance at a seven-year-old boy, crying in the middle of the main street, begging for help because the monsters in white had taken his parents away; then a nearly sixteen-year-old teenager wouldn't seek comfort by his own resolve.

After a few days little Ezra realized, the people wouldn't take pity on him, so he started to learn how to lock everything into himself and go on; and he became pretty good at it. Whenever something bugged the boy, he looked for privacy, so he could lick his wounds like a hurt animal, and then continue his life. This was the only way to survive on the streets.

Everyone had their own coping method.

Kanan meditated behind his closed door. Sabine painted, Zeb smashed as many Bucketheads as he could, and Chopper... he was grumpy even on his best days. Hera, if she didn't want to be disturbed, piloted the Ghost all her own, since flying always calmed her down.

Ezra also avoided every living being; however, he only did it during his most darkest mood. Since he joined the crew, he had gone into hiding three times: firstly, when he brushed the Dark Side on Fort Anaxes. Secondly, when he learned about his parents' death on Lothal. The third occasion was this, the time after Malachor.

He wasn't good at meditating, had no talent for the arts, not allowed to be too violent with Stormtroopers due to Kanan's watchful eyes... oh, bad choice of words, again..; and Hera wouldn't allow him to pilot the Ghost in the near future. She was still mad at him because of that little mission considering Visago and Hondo Okana...

Eventually he came up with his own method for his less serious negative moods: annoying Zeb and Chopper. Half of their fighting was only for fun. A few times they chased Chopper because the droid were his mischievous self, and pulled a prank on one of the bunk mates.

Yet, from time to time, Ezra was the one who provoked a fight. On those occasions he was under the weather and needed for a distraction before the others would ask questions.

If he was silent, the crew would know, something was off. Their chasing with Zeb and Chopper had been the perfect distraction, but that disappeared, too.

Becoming a part of the big Rebellion required many changes. They weren't just messing with the Empire anymore. They started a war, and thereby everyone had to adjust to the new, strict system. A boy and a Lasat chasing a droid wasn't... appropriate in a world where orders and superiors defined your place.

Ezra had to find another way to get over his problems. The new method name was: distance.

Of course, he was... had been cheeky and sarcastic, as usual. But he couldn't tell the last time when he talked with Kanan about something else than the war or the Force; likewise, his latest heart-to-heart discussion with Hera was when she told about her father. And that was weeks, even months ago.

Oddly enough, as he got farther and farther from his parental figures, the same time he got closer and closer to Zeb and Chop. These days their trio had been a constant thing to see all around the base.

Hera, as Phonix Leader, had not much time for the Ghost crew. Kanan also was someone whose words had weight. Plus, the Jedi managed to make a weird kind of friendship with Rex, so that duo was also a frequent sight.

Sabine was in her element. Her Mandalorian blood enjoyed the battles, the adrenaline rush and countless explosions. She also had many missions with the Phonixes.

Zeb, as a former Honor Guard and a Captain of his people, too, gained his place in the military system.

Heck, even Chopper had tasks!

Ezra... he just was.

Rex trained him to be a soldier, Kanan trained him to be a Jedi, and the Lothian did nothing else but trained and fought, trained and fought.

He hadn't found his place in the Rebellion, and, after Malachor, he didn't think he ever would.

 **This** was the root of his problems: he had no idea about who and what he was.

Tears wouldn't solve his misery. So, despite what the word 'love' had done with his emotions, he had to remain composed. He couldn't clutch at such a life anymore, in which getting a rare fruit for Hera could be a mission.

Guess, it was time to grow up.

"Yes, I'm fine, Hera. It's just crazy that I nearly accomplished those trials. But, since I can't think anything for protection and forgiveness, talking about them any longer doesn't seem relevant." A lot had happened in the Temple, but he couldn't recall anything for that two trials.

"Actually, you took them on Fort Anaxes" Kanan stated without any doubt. "You had accomplished them even before we went back to Lothal.

"I did not such a thing!" Ezra denied. He would know about it if he had taken trials there, wouldn't he?

"You protected both of us with the Frynocks. You protected me against the Grand Inquisitor" Kanan said matter of factly. "Might there was a little... going astray, but nothing unforgivable." In that part he was as guilty as Ezra. He would never underestimate the kid again.

' _You protected nobody on Malachor!'_ It was the cold, mean voice, deciding to be persistent once more.

Ezra felt the Force gathering around him, wrapping him in a warm, soft blanket.

This voice, it wasn't right. He did protect Kanan when he saw the new Inquisitor threw his blade at the Jedi. He did protect them when he realized what had been Maul's plan all along.

He had trusted the former Sith, that was undeniable. He had been angry and hurt, and Maul with his smooth words found a crack on his shield.

He played a great part in their disaster. However, not everything was his fault.

He didn't want to go to Malachor.

He didn't choose to fall down through that hole and meet Maul.

On one occasion, Kanan and Ahsoka were the ones who decided to stay on Malachor. They had the opportunity not listening to Ezra. But, just like him, they also were misled by Maul.

He didn't ask the Togruta to save him. He didn't ask her to stay on the planet with Vader. Somehow they could have got her on the Phantom.

He played a great part... probably the greatest one... but not all the roles were his.

"At least, forgiveness." Kanan wished he could see Ezra, or feel him through their bond. The kid had been shutting him out, but the Jedi didn't want him to urge.

His Padawan would connect with him when he felt himself ready for it. "You forgave Tseeboo."

Yes, Ezra did that. The friend of his parents too had made mistakes, fatal mistakes, but, after realizing them, he tried everything in his power and ability to compensate his faults.

So, if he could forgive the Rhodian, then...

...he should be able to forgive himself.

And Ezra did. He excused himself for his deeds on Malachor. He has also sworn an oath to learn from them, and be a better person who would firstly deliberating and then making decisions. He wouldn't trust blindly anyone anymore.

Even if he wouldn't be a Jedi, he still could be like Ahsoka was.

He really completed the Trials of Jedi... twice. At first with a Jedi, then with a former Sith. From the Darkness to the Light, then from the Light back to the Darkness.

He had seen both Sides, heck, he had experienced them! Yet, at this very moment, he sensed , just the Force itself, and it comforted him in a way he had never felt before. Like he belonged not only to the crew, but... to everything. To the Galaxy.

Maybe meditating was supposed to make Jedis feel in the same way if they were good enough at it.

No wonder Kanan liked this so much!

The Jedi Knight grabbed his head. The overwhelming amount of Force swirling around them was so intense, that for a moment he thought it would crush his mind. What could cause...

Something shifted in the Force and hereby this, in the Galaxy.

"Wow!" Ezra yelped. In one moment he was... not exactly at peace, but neither was the Dark Side present, taunting him by rubbing his wrong deeds in. Then the Force became wild, like if it would be shaking, and this disturbance certainly didn't help his headache.

"Kanan? Ezra?" The Twi'lek's voice sounded like she was speaking underwater.

"Just a minute, Hera" the teenager mumbled, nursing his pounding head. "The Force... Kanan, what's happening?" he gasped, suddenly not sure about which way was up or down.

"Don't... don't know" groaned the Jedi, bending down.

Ezra, having the strength of an infant, simply fell to the metal floor, hardly hearing Hera's shouting. The drumming in his head became unbearable, chasing away everything else except the pain and the building tension in his chest.

Then, he couldn't breathe.

Whatever was the problem with the Force, it affected him and Kanan greatly, both mentally and physically.

'Center' Ezra thought. 'Find your center, find the peace.'

He reached further into the Force, not giving up despite the turmoil and total chaos he currently faced with. He knew about a fix point in the Force that would be at its usual place, no matter what, and he was determined to get there.

He smiled when he found the gentle hum he searched for; the light, yet strong rope he could always rely on: his bond with Kanan. It was still there, welcoming honestly the errant boy who finally came home.

The Jedi's presence was his shelter from the storm. As soon as he touched it, he could breathe again. Enjoying the rushing air into his lungs, the boy closed his eyes and listened the frantic thumping of his heart.

"Ezra?" There were warm hands on his face, caressing his cheeks. "Can you hear me?"

"Uh" he groaned.

"Are you okay?" the same soft voice asked, still touching his face.

What was it with him and voices in his head? Why did has to pop a third one up? And since when did they get physical?

"Uhuh" he moaned. He had a faint inkling, would he open his eyes, he could wonder about how was it possible for a room to spin.

"Are you hurt?"

The voice was familiar... Hera. Hera was the one talking to him!

"My head's going to split in two. Or in three." the boy croacked, then opened his eyes.

Yup. The room was in mad spinning. "How's Kanan?" he blinked for a few times, willing his dizziness to cease.

"Better, than you." he heard the older male. He sounded a bit out of breath, but otherwise fine.

"What. Was. This?!" Ezra, with the help of Hera, managed to sit up properly. His back was against the bunk, supporting him, for the boy felt a little too weak to be able to hold himself all his own.

"A beginning" Kanan answered. He was in the same position as before, the entrance being behind him.

Hera looked at both of her Jedis. The woman wasn't Force sensitive, but she had quite good instincts, which now were instructing the Twi'lek, it was time for her to leave the duo alone. From now on it would be pure Jedi talking... and, maybe, some bonding as well.

Hera Syndulla, being a clever woman and a brilliant pilot, rarely ignored her instincts. Besides, if Ezra's state of health worsened, Kanan would alert her about it.

She quietly left the room, knowing Ezra would see and Kanan could sense her departure. Anyway, she had to check what was up with Chopper and his new droid friend. The pair of them were nearly as troublesome as Zeb and Ezra, and it was saying something...

"For the love of the Force, why have you to be so Jedi-like?! Can't you give me a straight answer for once?!" Ezra grumbled. All these riddles were tiring him out.

"This was a straight answer" Kanan answered patiently. "When something like this happens, that means changing in the Force. When the Empire was born, everybody felt the spread of the evil, even a few ones who weren't Force sensitive. That was a start of a new era."

"But I didn't feel anything, only chaos" Ezra disagreed, furrowing his brow. When did Hera leave the room without him noticing it?

"I suppose whatever is coming, it's going to have a slow progress, and that's why we don't know the nature of the shift yet. Now it's just a little thing in the Force which needs to grow. With time we will learn what it is exactly."

"I don't really want to. My head nearly killed me with its constant throbbing pain while I was suffocating. I would rather not know more about this 'beginning' if it makes me feel miserable." Well, at least the spinning stopped, Ezra thought. Not that his general state of health would have improved because of it, but it was nice to see everything staying at one place again.

"I think, it wasn't the shift's fault" Kanan suggested. He himself did not feel that way like the kid. He was unbalanced and confused, but didn't have problems with his health -except his eyes, but that was because of Maul.

The Jedi tapped in the Force, sensing his bond with Ezra. It wasn't as opened as before, although the man didn't mind it. He could already sense more of the kid than just a faint presence in the Force.

"Why?" the boy asked, annoyed. It was infuriating that everyone seemed to know everything better than him, making him feel dumb.

Kanan let out a little grunt. "Ezra, since we got back, you haven't eaten, drunk or slept. I can tell it from your Force signature. Under these circumstances, no wonder your system being so shaken by the Force's behaviour."

"Okay, I get it, just don't play medical droid any longer, please!" Ezra implored him. He was afraid of what Kanan would find if he sank deeper in the Force; what would the Jedi think about his mental state. "Kanan, about earlier... I know I sounded harsh and disrespectful towards you, and I'm sorry. I really am. But, as you could have noticed it by now, I've changed" Ezra grimaced. He was a total mess.

"We'll figure something out. Together" promised the Knight. "It will take time since not only you, but both of us have changed. Yet, we can do it. I know we can. Because it's who we are: fighters who are capable of overcoming anything." Kanan stood up, and after taking one big step forward, he sat down next to his Padawan. Both of them needed this proximity right now. "Were you serious when you said you don't want to be a Jedi anymore?"

"It's not that I don't want to" Ezra muttered. Shame or not, he shifted nearer to Kanan until his shoulder touched the man's arm. It provided the feeling of safety for the duo, gaining strength from each other.

"Then what?" Kanan also relaxed. The kid still needed him, he still saw him as a guardian, and not as a good for nothing blind man.

He still had Ezra, and this trust was a strong base to build on.

"I've already told you" the boy said softly. Everything was blanketed in silence like if the pair of them would be the only ones on the Ghost. "I do have connections to the Dark Side."

Kanan sighed, because Ezra was right. He couldn't ignore the Dark Side's eagerness to claim the boy anymore. It wasn't a wise tactic. It had never been one. "With time we might find a solution to erase them."

"Now you're being naive, Kanan. This is something that can't be helped, no matter how much you would like to be able to do so." Ezra was sober and disillusioned as he already resigned himself to the truth.

On the other hand, Kanan was far from giving up. "You accomplished the Trials of Jedi nearly a year ago. You got a Cyber Crystal. **That** means something."

"Darth Vader destroyed my lightsaber, and the crystal remained on Malachor. **That** means something, since you said, the saber is the extension of a Jedi" the Lothian retorted. He was determined to make Kanan see his point.

"You should know better than abandon your destiny just because you lost your weapon. The saber don't made you a Jedi."

Lightsabers were the first thing to come to mind when people thought of Jedis. While their weapon being a crucial part of a Force user was a well-known fact, it wasn't what defined them.

"I opened the Sith Temple and the Holocron. I lost my lightsaber. I allied with a former Sith. I put aside your teachings" the boy listed, getting frustrated. Why couldn't Kanan just agree with him?!

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"True. But it's not all the same if your mistakes even demands lives."

Because Ahsoka couldn't survive an explosion which, probably, got a whole planet blown up. The Togruta was many things: an extraordinary warrior, a fierce comrade, a respected leader, a good friend– but not an immortal.

"And on Malachor... I've completed the Jedi trials again" Ezra added quietly, afraid of the man's reaction to the news.

"Again?" Kanan didn't know what to think. Those trials being taken twice, and for the second time in a Sith Temple... Yet, Ezra himself had said that Jedi Temples and Sith Temples both were built for and because of the Force.

Moreover, IF the kid were right, Kanan too had taken trials on Malachor; trials which could lead him to be a true Master.

It was still beyond Kanan's comprehension.

"Are you sure?"

"As much as Darth Vader is a Sith. And it's weird. The trials should make me feel like the first time, shouldn't they? But instead of it, they're just confusing me" the boy admitted, curling closer to Kanan, hereby nearly sitting into his lap. He was searching for more comfort. When the Jedi put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him fully to his side, Ezra immediately felt calmer and safer.

Maybe growing up could wait one more day...

"How?" Kanan's soft voice was gentle, not accusing. It was going to be a long way to get Ezra back together, but the Jedi would be there at every corner and junction.

In the last few weeks the kid had been drifting away from him, and the man knew, most of that was his fault. He forgot that Ezra had just been a learning youngling, not a seasoned warrior... at least, not in this kind of war.

"I feel... like something important is missing. Don't know" Ezra frowned. He was getting back into his miserable mood. "I don't think we should go to Ilum. After Trayvis and my parents, it wouldn't do anything good to us." They had just got back from Malachor. They were still coping. Who knew what was waiting for them on Ilum? Who would be able to predict the Force's next step?

Ezra was truly fed up with this guessing game.

On the streets rules and intentions were clear and unambiguous. Avoid as much trouble as you can. Be invisible. Don't get the Empire's dogs on your scent. Do whatever you have to do to survive.

In the Rebellion he was always in trouble. Inquisitors, Siths, former Siths and ISB Agents wanted his powers or his death. At least half of the Galaxy knew he was a rebel, thanks to Trayvis's Holomessage.

But the worst of all was the last part: he couldn't do everything to survive anymore. He found himself slamming into rather hard walls functioning as his boundaries. Should he jump over them, the possibility of coming back would be next to nothing.

In less than two years, his whole life turned upside down due to the Force. Now the very same thing was working on its mysterious ways once again.

He was nervous about the denouement.

"Watch the bigger picture, Ezra." Kanan waited for a few seconds. He wanted to be sure about his Padwan's attention on him. "Trayvis was the reason of you broadcasting your message. You gave the people hope, a spark to the Rebellion. You managed to wake up your parents' will to fight against the Empire. They knew you were alive and well, moreover, had a family to look after you. In spite of that, they hadn't been able to take care of you, you found a place to belong."

The man paused, not entirely certain about how to carry on. Touchy-feely soul talkings weren't his speciality. Yet, for Ezra, he would give it a try.

No, not a try. He was going to do it. "I would like to believe, the way they died... the fact, they had the chance to do one more time what they had done before their imprisonment... You did the most you could have ever done for them. They died a hero, and everything that was good and valuable in them, is inherited by you." The Jedi remembered to say something like this to Ezra on the top of the hill that day, when Ryder told them the truth. "Now they are one with the Force, and, by this, you and they will always be together. Even if you can't feel them."

Kanan turned his head towards Ezra. "The vision about your parents actually led to them, didn't it? The Force allowed you to be with them for a last time. It helped you to get over on your past in a mournful, yet peaceful way. It also gave you a chance to be able to focus on your future."

Ezra closed his eyes for a moment. Kanan's words soothed a little the storm he had been suffering from ever since learning about his parents' death. Yes, the vision had helped him back then, but the meaning behind the Jedi's words was what really freed him from a part of his constant pain and guilt.

His parents didn't die because of him. On the contrary. They got a second life, even if it was a very short one.

"I... thank you." he whispered gratefully, cherishing the small, peaceful isle that had just been born in the middle of his soul's tempest.

No, he was **not** fighting tears.

"You're welcome, kid" Kanan smiled. "Although you really should have realized by now, you aren't alone anymore."

"I know. It's just... old habits die hard, I suppose." Stubborn headaches also had the same nasty feature, Ezra established it in himself, though it was a rather annoying discovery. "So... Could Ilum be the next turning point? Even if visions cannot be trusted?"

"I'm sure. Besides, you only saw places, not events" Kanan pointed out. "Your first vision gave the real start of the Rebellion. The second one not only helped you to find the truth out, it also provided several allies to our case. It looks like, you're some kind of trigger."

"Nice" Ezra didn't feel relief. Actually, Kanan's words only added more burden to the already huge enough pile of... practically, everything.

Why was that nearly all the events could be led back to him? Was there a reason or just a few coincidences?

And why, oh why did he has to continually find new questions?!

'Everything has a reason, even if you can't see it at this very moment' – that was what the warm voice had said, and it was what Ezra had assumed before Kanan broke into the room.

The Holocron was the common thing in everyone. Darth Vader, Maul, the Inquisitors -except the new one-, Kanan, Ahsoka and him; directly or indirectly they all had been on Malachor because of the Sith artifact, desiring to gain knowledge...

...and Ezra got to the same mind-bending, problematic brainteaser as before. If 'There is no ignorance, there is knowledge', and would he not ignore what Maul had taught him, then it would lead to the entire abandoning of the Jedi Code, embracing the Sith one. But would he ignore it, then he would deny a part of the Jedi Code.

A wise person would say the word 'acknowledgement'. A wise person would tell him, just because he had learnt about using the Dark Side, he didn't have to do as the Zabrak showed to him.

Ezra Bridger would tell the wise person that, if you acknowledged something, then you have knowledge about it, and what you know, you also use.

This was one of the many reasons, why he couldn't be a Jedi. He had always been and would be against the creed due to bumping into paradoxes. Because if someone said 'no' to something that did exist, like 'There is no chaos', that was ignorance, wasn't it? For example, the whole Galaxy was in chaos by the Empire. Nobody could disregard this fact and find the harmony, since the Empire condemned it to death at the exact moment of its birth.

Nonetheless, if the Jedi Code was only about someone's inner world and not the real life, neither was it a better option. How could they help anyone if they were shutting parts of themselves out all the time? How could they **understand?**

Even Kanan wasn't an average Jedi.

Master Yoda said that the Jedi had fallen to the darkness. If they had been living as the Code demanded it, they wouldn't have been so eager to fight, thinking, the only solution was to join the massacre.

Ezra could think of only two options. Either the Jedi creed's denying nature had caught up with them at least, and they kind of had gotten lost along the way... which would have been interesting for they lived by the Code for thousands of years... or the explanation was simplier: the Code had become obsolete.

The Galaxy might have changed too much for being possible to maintain the old ways. In this case Vader's manhunt for the Jedis could be seen as a... purge? A necessary evil? An opportunity to build something new, something better?

For the love of the Galaxy, it wasn't the best kind of train of thoughts! From a Sith or an Inquisitor, this theory was an expectation, even a requirement. But from Ezra? It sounded like he would aid sweeping the remaining Jedis away. Like he would agree with killing Kanan, should have someone the opportunity to do it.

The Lothian would never assistance such a thing. He would never hurt the man deliberately, even if it costed his own life.

The last known Jedi was the symbol of honour, justice and hope. Would he be perished before his time as an old, doddery man, being surrounded by a bunch of Jedi Knights, Padawans and younglings...

No. That wasn't going to happen, not till Ezra lived.

Kanan rubbed the back of his neck, putting Ezra off from his thoughts. "If you are right, and Malachor were a complex riddle for all of us, then Ilum may hold the answers. Or, at least, some of them."

'And maybe you will find what is missing, Padawan. I've never heard of anyone who accomplished the Trials of Jedi twice. Moreover, you even earned no rank.'

The Jedi sighed.

The kid always had to do everything in his unique, more difficult way, hadn't he?

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR**

 **Firstly, about this story.**

 **I suppose, most of you are wondering, when will some kind of action happen?**

 **My intention is to get Ezra to have a certain way of thinking. That's the reason of having this long-long talking.**

 **There will be one more chapter (Chapter 7) with Kanan and Ezra.**

 **Chapter 8 will contain little scenes,**

 **9 &10 will hold the answers for us...**

 **...and we reach the end.**

 **The sequel is the one where the real action begins. (And yes, it's going to be an AU. I don't want to say goodbye to the crew before Luke appears...)**

 **I've seen Season 3's videos. The Ezra you saw there, he is very-very similar to the one I've been shaping... but not entirely the same.**

 **(And a little surprise: at the end of the next chapter we'll meet my first OC.)**

 **Have a nice week!**

 **~Magic~**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi!**

 **It's been a while, I know, but I've been busy. Oh, and our PC gave up the ghost, so my phone's the only thing I can use for writing...**

 **I'm grateful for your help, Sins007; also big thanks for the favorites, alarms and reviews!**

 **Disclaimer** **: I still don't own Star Wars, only this story's plot.**

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR**

Chapter 7

In spite of still being wrapped in the Force's warm, protective blanket, Ezra felt like death warmed up. He was sure, he also had to be looking like that, or even worse.

After so many years in the streets, the teenager had learned how to read his system's signals when his body started to let him down. The conclusion he got this time was a simple case: complete exhaustion in every possible way. The bone-deep tiredness, mental fighting, emotional turmoil and the endurance of physical pain all ate up his spare energy. Since his stomach had been empty more than a day, his level of awareness could be counted as a miracle... Or it was just because his stubborness.

Guess, Kanan was right about why he had reacted to the shift as he had done: he really wasn't well.

Yup, without the help of the Force he would be out like a light, probably for days.

Some wretched person he was...

The Lothian took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of bacta.

Bacta.

The scent of the healing substance was invading his nose, cruelly making him remember, not Ahsoka was the only loss for the Rebellion and their little family.

"Kanan?" Ezra hated that his voice sounded small and broken... defenseless.

"Yes?"

"About Maul..."

Pause.

"Yes?" The Jedi had a good idea about where the conversation was going. He had been waiting for it since the moment he came up to the kid because of the Sith presence.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

Ezra felt his chest tighten, and his breathing picked up a slightly faster pace. The headache intensified as well, causing him to wince a little. And, just to add to all these, his hand also began to hurt in a higher level.

All in all, he was getting into a more awful condition, indicating, the Force had started to loosen its invisible blanket around the boy.

Yesterday maybe he should have gone to the medbay for a quick check up, but it hardly mattered now. He would endure whatever his body was going to throw at him, just to stretch this precious time with the Jedi. After so many weeks without Kanan's sometimes annoying caring, the boy wanted as much of it as he could get.

Ezra Bridger would never take 'tomorrow' for granted anymore.

Furthermore, he doubted he could continue their conversation another time. Knowing himself, what he didn't say out loud now, he wouldn't later.

Kanan sighed. Yes, he had been waiting for this topic, but it didn't mean he also should welcome anything about Maul. The Nightbrother bereaved them of more than the Jedi's sight.

"The past cannot be changed, Ezra. You trusted him because you saw something beneath the surface."

Sometimes Kanan thought, it would be better if the kid had a bit of more mistrust toward strangers. That was to say, he still had it in him, but his precaution quickly stepped down when he met a suffering soul.

Ezra was thinking in the same way as the blind man, sinking deeper into his guilt. "I wish I didn't. His words... misled me. Funny enough, how easily I trusted him. Or people generally. When I joined you, I was suspicious. Now look at me," the boy bitterly smiled into Kanan's shirt. "I've **trusted** Imperial cadets, pirates, former Siths and so on. I can't believe it!"

Although Kanan couldn't see his protégé, he still had the ability to hear; and his ears told him, the trembling words coming out of Ezra's mouth were paired with tearful, sapphire blue orbs.

Poor child. So much pain in such a short life!

"You see the good in everyone, Ezra. You can see what they lost because of the Empire. Maul is... well, he is who he is, but as I said before, you saw something that made you believe in him."

The teenager closed his eyes, recalling every word the Zabrak had ever told him.

"What he shared with me... I think he didn't lie. Maul cheated and used us, mainly me, but all the time he told the truth... just not everything. He said what he had to make me his 'friend'; however, he never was a liar."

Except when Maul stated that his ship had crashed on Malachor years ago...

Ezra wanted to bang his head against something very hard.

He saw nothing edible on that cursed planet, and because of his experience on the streets of Capital City, he should have realized the truth in time. Nobody could be **that** strong and healthy without proper nutrients as the Zabrak had been. Being or not being a Force wielder, it didn't matter in the long run.

The evil creature simply wouldn't have been able to live on Malachor for years without some kind of support.

"Maybe he knew, had he tried to make up a lovely tale, you could have detected it," the Jedi suggested, not liking the idea at all.

If the Nightbrother had come to know Ezra so fast, then he also could have collected a lot of information about his Padawan during their time together. Vital information, from he could set up the perfect trap to get the kid to himself.

Ezra grimaced. "Good old half truths. Wait... he wants me to be his apprentice, right?" Pulling away from Kanan, he starred at the Knight's chin. He couldn't coax himself into looking any higher than that point.

"Yes..." the Jedi answered, not entirely sure about what was in the kid's mind.

Well, truth to be told, most of the time Kanan couldn't figure the teenager out. One day he was his crazy, cheeky self, but on the other he became closed and distant, pushing away everyone who dared to ask about his fool mood's reason.

His Padawan was the unpredictability itself.

"And I'm strong in the Force."

The fact, Ezra still had to say out loud the word 'powerful', didn't avoid the Jedi Knight's attention. Yet, ultimately, this sole phrase would determine the Lothian's future and destiny. Actually, all the crew member's and even the Rebellion's future and destiny.

"Maul knows, he and I would be an efficient team." It was hard for the teenager to admit the truth, but shunning the cruel reality wouldn't make it any easier or nonexistent.

Kanan wasn't fond of the kid's train of thoughts, but, unfortunately, he was right.

The teenager and Maul both were quick, clever and resourceful. With the Zabrak's knowledge and the kid's powers, they would be something that everyone should reckon with.

Even the Siths.

"Ezra..."

"He told me, he hates the Siths because they took everything away from him." Ezra clapped his hand on his forehead. "Oh, now it makes sense!"

"What?" Although the older man was clueless about what Ezra had just found out pertaining to Maul, it was a little worrying that the child might could understand the horned monster's intentions seemingly rather effortless.

Yet...

Ahsoka had told Ezra about how important was to understand the enemy.

Could it be what his Padawan was doing? Could the child, not being aware of it at all, analyzing his foe? Or Ezra played a more dangerous game, and tried to think like a Sith. If that was the situation, the kid had done it today twice, and the second occasion wasn't even deliberated.

Kanan started fearing to know, how far Ezra had gone. He would do anything for the kid, but there was a place where the man could never follow his young family member, a path in which he couldn't be a company for the youngling.

The Dark Side.

The Jedi Knight had faith in the kid, there was no question about that, but all men were fallible. Even the ones with the purest heart – like Ezra.

"He is craving for revenge against the Siths. His desire is to train me to be able to finish them off." The Lothian explained, putting together the pieces: Maul saw him as an opportunity.

A tool to reach his goal.

Kanan frowned, even if the motion hurt his sensitive skin. "Not a big surprise. Former or not former Sith, he is a killer."

Once a Sith always a Sith, the Jedi Knight thought grimly.

Despite not being 'Darth' anymore, the Zabrak still wanted the very same thing as Vader or the Emperor: always were longing for more power, never mind what kind they could get.

The boy shook his head. "Then why didn't Maul kill you?" When he realized that his question probably sounded offending, Ezra hurriedly added. "Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy he left you alive, and being blind is bad enough... What I meant was... Why didn't he kill you when he had a chance for it?"

"Maul was playing around with us. I hate to admit it, but he was very ingenious and tactical, always knowing how to bring the most out from a situation."

Kanan didn't doubt for even a moment that the former Sith was nothing like the Empire's fools. He used his brain and was capable to do anything just to reach his purpose.

The Zabrak was resolute.

"Can it be a part of whatever he is plotting?" Ezra's question sounded more like a statement.

"Who knows? Maybe he thought if he kills me, then you never would side with him, no matter what."

Kanan felt the pain relievers wearing off. Shortly he would need another dose of medicine and a few new bacta patches, but Ezra was way more important than the pain and some injuries.

He could hold on a little longer.

"Creepy, wicked old man," the boy muttered. "First the Grand Inquisitor, then the Inquisitors, now Maul. Here and there a little Black Cape. Why has to be always someone on our tail?"

"This is the Rebellion, Ezra. We mean danger to the Empire."

Kanan was amused by his Padawan.

Black Cape, really? If Darth Vader was ever going to hear about his new nickname, he wouldn't be too happy, that was sure.

The Jedi became less concerned for Ezra, however.

The cheeky, witty guy didn't disappear entirely, and Kanan smiled inwardly at that. Ezra might was at the bottom of a swirling chaos inside his soul, but he, or someone very similar to the boy's old self, was still there.

"Maul isn't the Empire," the Lothian pointed out. "I think, he really wants an apprentice, for he could have killed me if he had the intention to do it... yet, I'm still alive.

"As I said, he is a tactical enemy."

Ezra bit his mouth, musing silently in his head.

'He was determined to kill everyone else except me. After retrieving the Holocron I was hanging on a verge. He could have got the artifact and let me fall into my death. But he saved me.'

Why was Maul so sure that Ezra would support the former Sith's case?

Of course, the teenager wanted to overthrow the Siths. Who not? Yet, Maul's resolve wasn't really Ezra's taste since he was nowhere as violent as the Nightbrother.

Then what could the Zabrak have in his sleeves? Showing mercy toward Kanan and leaving him alive, what had the former Sith gained with that?

Maybe 'The Mania of Two' was the answer.

Although Maul wasn't a Sith anymore, he still used their knowledge and rules; hereby fighting against the Dark Lords, he needed a comrade.

This person would be Ezra, that was clear.

Blinding Kanan could be... could it be a demonstration of Maul's superiority over a Jedi? That he had the ability to kill one if he wanted to do so?

Whatever he supposed to prove, it backfired on him. He had no idea about who Kanan Jarrus was.

The Jedi would never allow Maul to...

 **'The darkness and the light are fighting within you, youngling, and they are also fighting for you. Both of them want you on its own side.'**

Karabast.

Fighting **for** you.

The light and the darkness were...

...Kanan and Maul.

Ezra had his own inner battle, but there was also a war for him between Kanan and Maul; between the Master of Light and the Master of Darkness.

What could it mean exactly? Was it a fight between their teachings, or a literary battle? Perhaps both?

The boy knew, if Kanan happened to be on the Zabrak's hit list, that could be only because of him. The blame for everything else considering Malachor might could be divided, but if the Jedi Knight was going to be hunted by the former Sith, it would be solely Ezra's fault.

No.

Maul was his problem, not Kanan's, and he wouldn't allow the Zabrak to hurt the Jedi more; no matter, what it would take.

If the Force had decided to put Kanan and him through trials, he had not much to say about it. If the Force had arranged his meeting with Maul, he couldn't help that – because if he could believe in the warm voice and his instincts, then a part of what happened on Malachor had been the Force's plan all along.

Yet, if it wanted to make Maul and Kanan fight for him...

Ezra was going to have some say on that topic.

He had enough of being the puppet of invisible powers. Moreover the possibility of losing Kanan on account of the Force's devious, seemingly senseless plot; it nearly boiled Ezra's blood.

Too many people had disappeared from his life. If Kanan did the same, that would be worse than losing his parents. Because, and the teenager knew it sounded cruel, the bond between him and Kanan was richer and deeper than the one he had shared with his parents. It wasn't stronger, of course. Ezra loved his mother and father just as much as he loved the Jedi; yet, their Force bond was still... more, like if they would have a big piece of each other's soul.

The boy inhaled deeply.

There was one more urgent thing Kanan should be enlightened about, and it wasn't any easier than the earlier issues.

"Vader knows I posses the Holocron. Furthermore, he seemed very interested in how I could activate the Temple. I have a faint premonition, he too won't leave me alone." In Ezra's head a huge warning bell went off. "What are the chances for him not telling about me to the Emperor?"

"Let's hope, he won't," Kanan said, but in his true view the Emperor had already known about Ezra and Ahsoka.

Darth Vader surely had told the Emperor about the Lothian rebel cell; the Sith hardly would keep such information in secret from his Master, not even mentioning the fact, there were two Force-wielder in the crew.

Darth Vader, the main Jedi hunter and killer was faithful to his Master.

Jedi killer.

Kanan always felt like if he had been missing some details considering their first encounter with Vader on Lothal. Something had been out of the picture, but the man realized only now, a year later, what had been strange back then.

Vader had seemed to be playing with him.

At that time he couldn't understand why the Sith would do such a thing. Vader could have killed the Jedi easily, not – lacking any better word for it – throw him away from...

...from Ezra.

He pushed Kanan away just to get nearly enough time to force the kid to kill himself with his own lightsaber.

Darth Vader, a Sith Lord had showed more intention toward murdering an untrained Padawan, than dispatching a more skilled Jedi.

Why?

Kanan knew, he had hardly meant any menace to the Sith, but he still could defend the others better than the kid had been able. Yet, Vader wanted to kill Ezra first. And he nearly managed, but Kanan stopped him in time, likely, in the very last second.

Although it hadn't been the boy's first close call, and neither the last one.

The Grand Inquisitor, when they first met, almost killed Ezra... twice. Plus, there was the time when the boy fell from the catwalk...

From what the kid told him, Fifth Brother also would have murder his Padawan on the old medical base if the Seventh Sister hadn't stopped his comrade.

On Malachor Ezra got nearly killed, again, by Darth Vader, again, but the Sith was stopped in doing so, again.

These were just a few from the numerous occasions that had happened so far, and Kanan feared, his Padawan's luck wasn't unlimited. After all, even a Loth-cat would run out of its nine lives if it had too many brushes with death.

Kanan had to admit – no matter how dreadful was to think of it –, the kid lived on borrowed time.

But Vader, why had he been so determined to kill Ezra? Why had he wanted the Knight witnessing the boy's death and **then** finish him off? Had he desired to cause more pain to the Jedi?

Kanan had another theory, but he would rather not think of it. Because if that was the truth... if it had at least a tiny bit of reality, then Maul would never leave Ezra alone until the Zabrak got killed or had the boy as his true apprentice.

Ezra was right.

Maul wanted revenge.

And Kanan too was right.

The former Sith wanted power.

Maul also had been right in deciding, Ezra would be a... **the** perfect apprentice for him.

Malachor...

He, Kanan, hadn't really done anything in the presence of the Sith Lord that would be worth to report. Ezra, on the other hand, had been one of the – if not the most – spectacular participant of the events.

The Siths always liked the display of power, and he had showed more of it than he ever should have, since opening a Sith Temple required a great grasp on the Force's dark side. Due to that, the Emperor would see the potential in the young Lothian.

Ezra had his own disturbing train of thoughts, for he had just figured out a very unnerving, soul-stirring detail.

The Sith Temple had been an ancient building, standing there for thousands of years. Thus the Holocron, being the key to activate the weapon in the giant pyramid, should be...

...it should be at the same age as the Temple was before its demolition.

No wonder the Dark Side users wanted it to themselves so badly. The ancient artifact could easily contain such information and knowledge, which had been long forgotten by the Siths.

But the Temple had been destroyed, and he possessed the Holocron. Could the two Lords think, he knew something that they didn't? Would they identify him as a possible source of knowledge because of having the artifact?

Ezra buried his face into his hands. The more he was mulling and revealing, the more he felt himself shattering inside.

"So it's a hopeless dream," he declared brokenly. He wondered why he was so popular among the Dark Side users. Was there some kind of label on his back, saying 'Catch me', or what?

Kanan put his hand on Ezra's shoulder in a comforting manner. The kid had got to the same conclusion as he: their future seemed rather dire.

"First thing first, Ezra. I do believe, Vader wasn't able to come out from the Temple uninjured. He is powerful, I won't deny that; however, he was on the top of the building when it started to collapse. I doubt he would have got off without serious damages. Hence that he won't be on our tail for the time being. Now we could plan... but I think, we should wait with that until we get back from Ilum. Who knows what we will learn there."

Ezra wanted to be as hopeful as Kanan was.

He really wanted.

But somewhere during the endless hours of being awake and desperately trying to find answers... and hereby being father of more questions... Somewhere during that time he lost hope.

'Damn Anakin Skywalker!' the Lothian cursed the Sith Lord. 'I thought I was the one who messed everything up, but you are the champion! Were you able just be a powerful Jedi? **Nooo.** You had to change over to the Dark Side!'

Goddamn Malachor!

Ezra slowly breathed in and out, following the techniques Kanan had taught him. He needed to calm down.

He **had** to calm down.

His Force-blanket started to fade away, and thus his emotion nudged him toward the Darkness, again. He already could feel the stirring in his soul, and the icy cold from earlier also had begun to return into his bones.

The teenager couldn't let himself fall apart. To keep his unstable self together, he had to use the only thing which helped him until the recent events – even if it went against his newfound principles.

The creed.

 _'There is no emotion, there is peace.'_

But his memory decided to work against him, and recalled a part of the Sith Code.

 _'Peace is a lie, there is only passion.'_

Determined to not give up without a fight, and being as stubborn as always, Ezra successfully managed to find a proper retort.

 _'There is no passion, there is serenity.'_

That worked.

The Darkness retreated, not finding a riposte to the Jedi creed's line. It was interesting, although, that it didn't fight more vehemently. The little encounter almost felt like if the Darkness didn't have such a powerful grip on Ezra anymore, and tried to compensate the weakness with quick strikes.

Fate admittedly had a strange kind of humor, the boy thought bitterly, suppressing the shivers which wanted to shake his body. For now, the Jedi Code had won, a code that the teenager decided to ignore, to abandon, to... Actually, he didn't really know what he wanted anymore. Or if he wanted anything at all, aside from ensuring his family's safety.

Everything was just a big chaos with Malachor in the middle.

Malachor, yes. The common point in everyone and everything.

Maul had stayed on that cursed planet despite knowing, he couldn't step alone into the Temple. Siths and Inquisitors would have never helped him in his lifetime. Neither Kanan or Ahsoka. This left only one known Force sensitive who had been able to open the Temple with the Zabrak... and willing, too...

Him, Ezra Bridger.

Maul had to know they were coming to Malachor. He had to know that the most younger of the threesome had a knack for the Dark Side.

Maybe the ship which Chopper had foud on Malachor wasn't the new Inquisitor's, but Maul's. Maybe the Jedi hunter's had been the one that really had crashed, or he hadn't had a TIE, just got a 'carriage' to the planet, so he would have to stay until his mission got accomplished or he himself perished.

Then there was the issue of the new Inquisitor's presence.

He had to be sent by Darth Vader to hunt down Maul. So the Sith had to know, Maul had been there... and just 'accidentally' wanted the same Holocron at the same time.

Would it be a crazy theory to assume, Maul had had a vision about Malachor and Ezra?

And Vader also had one... about Ahsoka?

The Sith said, it had been foretold him and Ahsoka to meet again. But if it had been foretold, then either him or the Emperor had to have a vision about it.

Logically, seeing into the future was the only way to create a prophecy, wasn't it?

Furthermore, all these would prove, their little gathering wasn't fortuitous, but the Force had arranged that. It would be a **real** proof, not just instincts, half-baked theories and strange voices.

Ezra felt like he explored the utmost question, which was the very core of the disaster called 'Malachor'... well, except his trust in Maul...

Was Vader there because of this 'foretold encounter' with Ahsoka, or did he arrive only to get his hands on the artifact?

To open a Sith Temple, there had to be two Dark Side user.

Vader came alone. Maybe the new Inquisitor could have helped him, but that man didn't seemed to be too interested in getting the Sith pyramid. He was a trained fighter, but his mission had been to hunt down Maul; no more, no less.

Seventh Sister and Fifth Brother only followed them, as always. But... did they? Could it be coincidence that they run into each other? Were they sent for the Holocron and not the Rebels? Then why did the Sith Lord come also? Or the two Inquisitors had been alerted by the third one as Hera supposed that. However, they popped up really quickly, so they had to be near Malachor, just like the nightmare who once had been called Anakin Skywalker.

Vader had to arrive because of his former Padawan.

Oh, the irony!

On Malachor, a former Jedi chased his former Padawan, while a former Sith was lurking in the shadows. Owing to those three people, Ezra also left his original path, the Jedi way, and hence he joined their little group – as a former Jedi-in-training.

Talking with a dead Sith, a former Sith and a living Sith on the same day was just as ridiculous – but it had happened, too.

Fate really, really should improve its sense of humour.

Ezra wanted to scream from the top of his lungs until his voice became nothing more than an echo in the wind, being carried away to the other side of Atollon.

The desire to get rid of every feeling that he had been able to keep at bay so far; the temptation to give up the fight and damn the consequences was so great, so alluring...

No.

He couldn't surrender and choose the easy way, wasting his last present from Ahsoka; nor could dishonour the Togruta's final action for the Rebellion's case.

Ahsoka had given him another chance to prove himself, and thus her responsibility for the alliance's protection got transferred to Ezra; at least, the Lothian felt that way.

The boy was going to do anything to be worth for the Togruta's trust.

He could restrain his emotions for the time being... but it was merely delaying, not a solution. Holding them back would only cause a bigger and more annihilating explosion, and it would have none of the beautiful colours that Sabine used for her miracles.

He could hold on a little more, but not forever. It was only a matter of time for the darkness to consume his present resolve, and Ezra dreaded the day it would happen on.

He had already played a huge part in bringing suffering and pain upon the Ghost crew. Yet, this time, his struggling with the darkness had demanded an even bigger price, and the Rebellion was the one paying for him.

Ahsoka.

Her life for his, that had been Malachor's cruel deal, and Ezra hated it.

The Togruta's absence was like a chopped limb. The body still could function without it, but only in a limited way, always missing the part that wasn't there anymore.

It should have been him, not the former Jedi. Ahsoka Tano was more valuable than Ezra Bridger ever would be. She was stronger, wiser, more experienced, more disciplined... more of a light. On the other hand, he was nothing like that. His only questionable advantage was that _perhaps_ he was more... stronger in the Force.

The darkness, which had been calling him, coaxing him into its embrace, knew all of it; and sooner or later it would break through his shield and turn him into another weapon of the Dark Side.

It had done with the Chosen One, The Hero with No Fear. It had changed him into a Sith. A miserable Loth-rat couldn't be much of a challenge after that, could it?

He had been fighting an already lost battle. He had been trying resist to something that already had a grip on him.

Essentially, he was a ticking bomb.

"Ezra? Are you all right?" Kanan asked. His Padawan, once again, had been too silent for too long.

He wanted to know what the kid was pondering on, or just check him through their bond. Yet, he decided to give the child all the privacy he could.

In spite of being unpredictable, one of Ezra's fix features was his need to digest every bit of information. Kanan supposed, it might was one of the things and skills that the kid had developed in the streets in order to have more chance to survive.

"Sorry, I was thinking," Ezra said with the false hope, the Jedi wouldn't want to know more. But, as most of the time nowadays, he was wrong.

"About what?"

"Isn't important," the kid begged the question. When he saw, Kanan still wasn't satisfied with his answer, he added. "I was wondering about some... stuffs."

"You know you can tell me anything," the Jedi said quetly. He would be there for his Padawan if Ezra was ready to share his thoughts with him.

"I know I can." But it didn't mean, he should or had to.

Occasionally it was better for thoughts to be remain unspoken. Not because of the fear from the Empire – like with the children –; their destructive nature was the one that terrified Ezra. If he told everything he figured out, it would tear apart the crew even more.

They lost Ahsoka, Kanan lost his sight.

Should Ezra become a servant of the Dark Side, its impact on the crew... He would rather not imagine it.

Ilum.

He needed to go to that planet, and get some reassurance about him having a tiny hope to overcome on the darkness.

"I understand," the Jedi nodded, strengthening his arm's grip around the boy. "But I want you to know, you can come to me at any time with anything. I'm here for you. Or, if it would be more comfortable with some topics, you also can talk with Hera. Right?"

"Yes... thank you."

After nearly two years with the crew, Ezra still had been wondering on the amazing feeling of having a family; even if the near past was strained and cold in a way.

"There's nothing you should thank me. Perhaps you don't realize it, but you gave and give a lot to us," the man smiled softly.

The kid had no idea about the fact, he was the one who truly made the Ghost crew a family. Because, although a mismatched one, they were a family in everything but blood, and it would remain that way, even if the kid decided to leave the path of the Jedi forever.

Ezra couldn't help it, but, in himself, he added an 'and also took a lot' ending to Kanan's kind words.

They had been paying a heavy price for his presence in the Rebellion.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Kanan wouldn't be surprised if the boy said no. They had already talked more than the Jedi dared to hope for.

Ezra vaguely looked at his gloves. "Yeah... I guess. Uhm... How are you?"

As soon as he said it out loud, Ezra cursed himself. It was a stupid, stupid question! Kanan couldn't be okay. He lost his sight, his skin was probably killing him...

And here he was, asking how the Jedi felt.

'You are a genius, Ezra Bridger!' the Lothian scolded himself. He had a talent for saying the wrong thing all the time. Or doing them, like on Malachor...

Kanan shrugged. "It's hard getting use to my new condition. I have to learn to use the Force in a whole new way," he said casually. It was going to be hard for him, for Hera and especially for Ezra... But for his family Kanan Jarrus would do anything. If it meant to discover a path in the Force he knew nothing of, then he would just do that.

"What did they tell you? Is there any hope for healing?" Ezra was nervous. Whatever he was going to hear, it would determinate their entire future.

"You saw what Maul had done to me," the Jedi's tone was flat, lacking any emotions. "The skin is charred in such a way that my eyelids... they kind of melted and sealed my orbs."

Kanan sighed, resignated. Talking about his own eye's fate wasn't the easiest thing he had ever done.

"The Rebellion doesn't have the proper equipment that is needed in my case. Even if they would have, who knows the true extent of the damage? The doctors and their droids examined what they could, but it wasn't too much. They were afraid of doing more harm than good." He had to endure a lot of pain only to prove what he had already known: his sight was gone forever. "At least I closed my eyes at the last second when Maul's saber made contact with my face, and thus I still have my eyeballs."

Ezra was at the edge of sobbing by hearing all of this. "So you are really blind," he whispered, blue eyes filling with tears. The last flame of the hope which he had been nursing for Kanan's healing died down, leaving emptiness in its former place.

"Yes, I am blind," the man agreed, smiling a little. "But alive, Ezra. I am still alive, and I don't plan on changing this in the near future."

The boy remained desperate despite the older male's optimistic view. "What now?"

What were they going to do? What would be with the Ghost crew? What would Kan...

"Now?" the Jedi asked, not sad at all. As he had said, he was alive, and relatively healthy. "First we get you to the medbay for an examination. After that we grab something to eat and drink, then you go to sleep. By the time you wake up, we are going to be on course for Ilum."

"Sounds like a plan," the boy grinned in spite of his tears and dark mood.

If the Jedi was capable of joking even in his state, then the Lothian also should join him. Maybe what the Knight needed the most was some 'old Ezra', and the teenager could give it to him if it helped the other one.

He could collect himself for his father figure.

He would.

Kanan sensed, he was in the right direction to cheer the kid up a little, so he pretended to be offended. "Of course! I always have a plan."

Ezra's eyes got a faint, impish sparkle as his mischievous part turned up. "Since when was the last time when everything went as you planned?"

"I will let you know, in my plans there is always the opportunity of change of plans. It's a vital part of them."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Opportunity? Like..."

"Dare to finish that sentence, Ezra Bridger, and I'm going to ask Hera to put you on cleaning duty on the Phantom AND on the Ghost."

The kid got horrified at hearing the threat. "No, you wouldn't..."

"Do you want to give it a try?"

"No, no!" the teenager protested with all his might. "Your plans are perfect and brilliant and..."

Kanan shook his head, amused. Their brickering felt like if nothing had changed – but it was only a show. He knew perfectly well, both of them were pretending and keeping secrets to spare the other from more pain and suffering. Yet, for today, they had enough grief.

"Now you are smarming. Not better."

"Uh, right. Should I... Should I just hold my tongue?"

The Jedi merely ruffled his Padawan's hair, proud of his achievement in raising the kid's mood. "Come on, Ezra. If we are lucky, Zeb left some space waffles for us," he stood up after ending their remarkably long hug.

The teenager followed the man's motion, muttering during the progress. "Zeb, leaving space waffles? It has as much of a chance as your plans working out without any flaws... Oops. Did I say it out loud?

Kanan just had a big grin plastered on his face.

For now, he got Ezra back.

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR**

 **Because of this chapter's length I decided to give the promised OC an own, so the next update will be his.**

 **Darth Vader.**

 **Usually I'm certain about how I want to reveal things, but for once, I have no idea what would be better. Should I write Vader's point of view about his deeds into a chapter in this story, or should I postpone it, and put into the sequel? Opinions?**

 **To those (many) people who want me writing about Maul: we all know he can be very... obsessed (khm... Obi-wan Kenobi... khm...). He would do anything to have his 'apprentice', so I can assure you, he will have his own part in Ezra's future.**

 **I like to 'connect' songs with stories. If any of you is interested, here's a little list for mine (although it might also fits to the real show).**

 **Kanan to Ezra: Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On**

 **Delta Goodrem – Be Strong**

 **Ezra to Kanan: Sunrise Avenue - Lifesaver**

 **About Kanan & Ezra : Wicked, the musical – For Good**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the promised OC (and the second update on this week).**

 **He's rather... well, you'll see.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I don't own Star Wars, only this story's plot and the OC.**

 **SWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR**

Chapter 8

A hooded being stared into the space through his ship's grandiose panorama window. The smirk he sported on his face made him even uglier; although the hood casted enough shadow to hide his appalling features.

Not that if he ever would have been bothered because of his appearance. People who had seen him usually didn't live to remember it.

"The apprentice did well," he said in a voice full of satisfaction. What he recently felt through the Force, filled his pitch black heart with contentment, since the news gave him a golden opportunity. Soon more would acknowledge the sheer, unquestionable power of the Dark Side and would wake up to the ultimate truth, the Galaxy's rightful rulers were the Siths, for they always had been and would be.

"Should I care?"

Hearing the mocking voice, Darth Sidious sighed.

Some decided to be willfully blind of the Dark Side's superiority, but there was no one in the Galaxy who couldn't be persuaded with the proper... tools. Don't mind the ways and means, he would make the resistant ones to respect the only acceptable path.

No, no respect, but **fear.**

"My, my, it's seems, you aren't in a great mood" the Emperor tutted, turning his back to the window and the view of the endless space. "It saddens me. I entertained the idea, you would be interested in our new success."

A shackled man growled at the other side of the room, his rich tone echoing in the big, but empty chamber. "I've been your prisoner for three weeks now, and still don't give a damn about your thoughts, Sith. Got to hell or wherever your kind is rotting after their death!" he spatted, earning a quick kick into his abdomen, which caused him to double over.

Sometimes he wished for a few dumb stormtroopers being his guards, not these two masked freaks who never talked, only hit. And how hard they did! Even a punch bag got a better treatment than him.

"I admire your determination." Darth Sidious walked a little closer to his prisoner, taking delight in the hunched form's pain. "Under my tutoring, the pair of you will make a magnificent team, I must admit it."

The bounded man scornfully snorted, holding his head up in a high, proud manner.

The shoulder-length, slightly wavy black hair that framed his face was disheveled; his locks stuck out in every possible and impossible angle. Bruises, dirt, dried blood covered his tanned skin, making him look rather inhumanly. The stinky rags hanging on his body... They were his once favourite outfit in useless odds and ends, thanks to his host's kindness and caretaking.

The tight iron manacles around his wrists cut into his flesh. The handcuffs didn't allow the skin to heal, thus the swollen parts indicated not only damage, but infection as well. Luckily, he hadn't developed a fever yet.

There were two short chains attached to the manacles. Their other ends, being held by the armoured guards, ensured that the shackled man would not try anything funny. It only took one strong yank in the correct angle, and his shoulder would pop out of its socket. Needless to say, the prisoner knew the consequences of such an act from experience, so he decided to play nice. Well, nicer than he originally intended.

His piercing, deep, jade green eyes, however, nearly glowed despite the dim light. They held the fire of a fighter's soul and some kind of unfathomable, savagery power. Even being treated like an animal couldn't break the man's firm spirit. He might was a prisoner of a Sith, but it didn't mean he would accept his current state.

"Please, you've already had one mindless puppy, and I don't feel too keen on being another one. Your fortune is that Darth Vader doesn't use his brain and think twice about whether he should go along with all your commands. You have quite an obedient monster on string." The prisoner tilted his head a little, like he would be measuring the Sith. "One day it will be known by everyone, and you dread the possibility. One day the Galaxy will know who he was before Darth Vader has emerged from the unknown" he said calmly.

"It's a lie!" Darth Sidious hissed, enraged by the statement. "Those few Jedis who have the knowledge of it would never talk about their shame, but have gone into hiding a long time ago! You. Know. Nothing!"

"Nothing? Then I really don't understand, why I have to enjoy your gracious hospitality... Could my bright personality might be the reason?"

'Stupid Sith. He has no idea about how much he has just revealed' the prisoner thought, somewhat disappointed in the Emperor's intelligence. 'No wonder he is hiding in the shadows, otherwise everyone would hear the secrets slipping through his lips... Right, not everyone. I can't help it if I'm too clever for his brain cells. But really, is it too much to ask for some quality companion?'

He started to get bored of the Emperor and the Sith's constant babbling about power, Darkness, joining and apprentices. But, on the brighter side, he had gained more information than he thought he would able to during his captivity.

Yes, he hated to be here. But since he hadn't had too much say in whether he wanted to be captured or not, bringing out the most of his situation seemed to be the best thing to do.

He could be called mad or said to be having a death wish... however, he simply _knew._ Darth Sidious would never kill him. Hurt or torture, there was no question about them, for those had already been done to him several times.

Going to be killed?

No, never. He had been to precious to the Sith for just being murdered because of some anger issues.

"My patience is wearing off. I know what you are playing at, but you won't success. Death isn't an option for you."

The shackled man wanted to laugh at how predictable the Emperor was; yet he merely shook his head. "Neither is your offer. Sorry, still don't feel too motivated."

Darth Sidious came one more step closer to his prisoner.

"Brave, but reckless words. I do believe, though, with time you will reconsider your dismissal attitude. Being closed up into a little room without any window... It is a bigger suffering than anything I could do to you."

The Sith talked to him like he was a child, and it sickened the man more than anything.

What did Darth Sidious think, who was he?! Without Tyranus, Vader and Maul, _and_ without the Force he would be just an old man with an awful attitude. He might was cruel, sly and not totally an idiot, but when it came to act, the Emperor rarely did something himself.

Oh, of course. Darth Sidious, the insidious. A creature hidden in the shadows, controlling from the background.

Even Vader had more honor...

The Emperor hadn't finished his ranting yet.

"You've have no family, no friends and no home. There is only one thing holding any value in your eyes at all, and I took even that away. You are left with nothing, **nothing** at all. Without me, you'll always be what you've been: a nobody."

"I regret to inform you, oh Mighty One, but _Dun Möch_ doesn't work on me. You can't and won't get into my head!" the prisoner, never looking away from the nightmarish face in front of him. He couldn't see every part of the Sith's head due to the hood, but what little he did, that was hideous.

Nonetheless, he too was capable of playing with the Emperor's nerves...

In the whole Galaxy there was hardly anyone who could understand his species' language, and Darth Sidious wasn't among those selected few.

Whatever he told the Sith, the Dark Side user wouldn't be able to understand any of it. Considering the fact, information was one of the things that the Emperor wanted from him, using his mother language would piss Sidious off.

The prisoner grinned inwardly.

Annoying the Sith would demand a heavy price, but the man was ready to pay it. After everything that had happened in his life, only he knew how far he was willing to go for achieving something.

 _*"Megvetlek, féreg!"_ he whispered loud enough for the Dark Side user to hear his words. _"Tégy vagy mondj bármit, nem foglak segíteni. Mi több, alig várom a bukásod napját!"*_

The Sith Lord opened his mouth to say a retort, but he was cut off by a shift in the Force. "What?" he froze, staring at the metal floor uncomprehendingly.

He tried to search for the source of the disturbance through the Dark Side. Yet, the deeper he got, the more confused he became, not being able to detect the root of the shifting. Because no matter how hard he concentrated, at some point the Force always shut him out, not allowing him to explore the reason.

"What could be this?" Dark Sidious asked himself eventually.

Now it was the prisoner's turn to give a wicked smile. "Flaw in the plan, Ugly Face? Oh, poor you... Do you want to cry on my shoulder...?"

The green-eyed man still smiled when the first wave of the Sith's lightning hit his body.

He was used to endure pain. Since he became nine years old, more than half of his life had been pure torment. Hence that, some Sith lightning – although it was still incredibly painful – wouldn't make him beg for mercy.

He had learned how to survive.

The prisoner closed his eyes and concentrated on the gentle hum inside him, gaining strength from the warm feeling. As long as the Force was with him, no matter what kind of torture Sidious would chose, the Sith couldn't break his soul or will.

And now the man even had _hope_ , for he knew what the shift was and why it happened. He also had no doubt about what it meant for him personally.

The time to fulfill an old promise had finally come.

SWRSWRSWRSWSESWRSWRSWRSESWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWRSWR

 **So, yeah, he is... strange. Talking back to Darth Sidious the way he did... but he has every right to do so, believe me.**

 **I purposefully didn't mentioned his name, by the way. (And no, his background has nothing to do with any Star Wars character.)**

 **I don't have Tolkien's talent to create own languages, so I just used my own mother tongue for the OC.**

 **Here's the translation:**

*I despise you, worm! Do or say anything, I won't help you. What's more, I can't wait the day of your downfall!*

 **(About the Season 3 trailer. Those convor birds tend to turn up a lot lately, don't they? According to Filoni they're some kind of observers, messengers. I wonder if they have a more concrete meaning...)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi!**

 **Sorry for the long wait (guess, it's safe to say hiatus), but life had been busy. I also reshaped this chapter many, many times... I had serious troubles with how and when to reveal things. Fortunately, now I've every detail worked out, so there's a big chance, you don't have to wait another three months till the next update.**

 **Sins007, thank you for your help.**

 **Reviews and PM's are always welcomed!**

 **Oh, and I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!**

 **Disclaimer:** **No, I still don't own Star Wars.**

 **SWR**

Chapter 9

Stepping out from Ezra's and Zeb's bunk, Kanan decided that he really, really needed a caf. Like immediately. Because, although the meditation he had done while waiting for the kid to fall asleep had helped a great deal, his mind still felt a little sluggish to think properly.

Interesting, mused the Jedi in himself as he took his way toward the kitchenette, how could only one day turn the table. Order 66, Malachor - under a couple of hours everything changed for the worst. But, on the other

hand, there were days which brought good things. Like when he and Hera crossed each other for the first time on Gorse. Or when a cocky troublemaker stole a few crates right under from the crew's nose...

Ezra.

The living proof of how could be defied the Jedi teachings and beliefs; how could be executed something unheard of. To have...

No. After he had his much needed caffeine in his system could he sink deeper in the problem and reflect on what should be done.

If there was _anything_ could be done.

Kanan stopped in front of the kitchenette's door. Due to living for years on the Ghost, it wasn't much of a problem to find his way to his destination and push the proper buttons on the panel. His memories and fingers guided him well in his task.

"Okay," he muttered to himself after he entered the room. "It's not the first time I have to do something without my sight. During Master Yoda's trainings as a youngling, I deflected bolts... so making a caf can't be much harder than that, right? It's like... like muscle memory. Should be easy."

Sure enough, grabbing a cup went without any effort, for they were kept always on the same shelf. The packet of caf, however, proved to be a different story. In spite of searching the cupboard's each shelf, he just couldn't find that pesky box! Neither raised his spirit the exploration of where Zeb had put his next meal. Not that if anyone would be happy about having their hand in a pile of space waffles... The Lasat really should have learned by now where he could find foil.

With growing frustration, he rummaged through the cupboard's containments once more. Again, nothing felt or smelled like it would be stuffed with caf.

"Where the Mustafar did you disappear?" the man growled, temper rising with every ticking second.

At the bottom of his heart the Jedi knew, he should control his emotions. Despair would get him nowhere. Still, it was too quiet, too dark to just let it go.

Yes, the cruel, silent blackness was the worst part. To get a taste of what it would be like being trapped somewhere in space without any star or planet - Kanan never wished for such experience. Never. Yet, now he had to _learn_ how to live in the everlasting deprivation of light and colors.

He felt like the Force had left him in the lurch. Obviously, this was an unfair thought. The Force would never abandon those who were so aware of its existence. The other way around, however... Kanan himself had neglected his sensitive connection to it for many years; and he would have given up again. After all, what use he was to anyone if he couldn't make at least a caf by himself?!

The Force's gentle pulsing behind his consciousness somewhat comforted him. Truth to be told, aside from feeling the steady stream, Kanan doubted he would be able to use it any time soon. Until he wasn't at peace with himself, which wasn't in the offing for the time being, his connection to the Galaxy's energy would remain in constant fluctuation.

Serious statement, but sincere to the very last word: he had become lost and had no idea what to do.

Kanan would have wagered, even Ezra was more in the know than him.

A leaf which had no choice but to float where the wind carried him. That was how the man imagined his place in the Galaxy. He had been the same leaf between the time of Order 66 and Hera. Then, the Twi'lek attached him to a twig. Later, when Ezra joined them, the twig thickened into a branch, resisting to the powers attacking it.

But Kanan barely hung on his place anymore.

He wanted to seem strong in front of Ezra. To provide the support he should have been able to give from the beginning. As it turned out, he was too weak and insecure to be the Master the boy would have deserved.

He had failed in more than one way.

The soft 'hush' of the kitchenette's door brought Kanan back to the present. His body, unwittingly, hardened his muscles, preparing itself for a possible threat. Although his mind knew he was safe on Atollon, his instincts of surviving beat rationalism. Only when he identified the warm Force signature, melted the sudden tension into sweet relief.

"Hera."

While Kanan hadn't counted on having company, the Twi'lek's presence was always more than welcomed. She had shown a great ability to deal with that side of him which no one else in the crew knew about. A part of his personality that was anything but Jedi.

"You know, whatever you are looking for, I don't think it would answer," the Ghost's Captain said lightly.

Kanan was sure, she had seen him ready for action a few seconds ago. It should have been hard not to notice the stiff stance and fists clenched with so much ferocity, the knuckles must have had developed a whitish hue.

Hera, however, didn't remark anything, and her decision filled the man's heart with gratefulness. What an amazing woman!

"I've noticed," he grumbled.

Sensing Hera to stop right behind him, he turned toward the Twi'lek, leaning against the counter. He wasn't able to see her anymore, but, at least, could pretend that some normality had remained in their life.

"What are you searching for, by the way?"

The Jedi huffed. "Caf."

"Well, you won't find any, love." Hera's shoulder touched his upper arm as she came next to him. "I've hidden all of it."

Kanan, disturbed by their closeness, couldn't get really angry at her. Since he lost his sight, his other senses had been developing. It was just a slight change so far, but he had become more aware of contacts. He had a

suspicion, the woman near him too knew this, and shamelessly used it against him as a weapon.

"You did it purposely, didn't you?" the Jedi tilted his head toward the Twi'lek, waiting for affirmation.

"Hiding the caf?" Hera asked innocently. "Of course. I already have a handful Force wielder who can't take care of himself. I don't need another one."

Yes, she did it intentionally, acknowledged the man.

"I meant... distracting me."

"Distracting you? How so?"

The corner of Kanan's mouth twitched. Women and their delicate ploys!

"You make me forget," the man admitted, albeit reluctantly. Rarely, like now, he got frightened of his powerlessness against Hera's magic. Her lure was greater than what he had ever felt; even the Dark Side's after Order 66. "Only for a brief time, but I can forget."

Kanan practically could hear the smirk in his companion's reply.

"Good. By he way," she added as an afterthought, "I've met Belevim."

Mentioned man was an elderly human doctor from Alderaan. No one at Chopper Base knew why he had chosen to join them, but his hate for the Empire burned itself deep in his bones. He didn't talk too much, neither showed interest to make acquaintances. Most of his time he locked himself up in his room and read data pads about the newest medicines, equipments and diseases. The mysteriousness surrounding him gave opportunity to many speculations to come alive among the Rebels. Some said he had been an Imperial, but deserted. Others assumed him to thwart a plan of the Empire. Most of them believed, he had lost someone dear to him, and wanted to revenge that death. Whatever was his reason, Senator Bail Organa must have known it, since he had been the one who sent Belevim to Atollon.

Kanan smiled.

"He ordered Ezra not to go anywhere in a few days. I think the good doctor terrified him, because the kid had no objection."

"He has reached his limits. Of course he would get condemned to be bedridden," Hera rolled his eyes. "You two think that you can endure anything, and go on with a shrug. Ezra even worse in that aspect than you," the woman poked Kanan's chest with a finger, "and it says something. He has a strained wrist, and what he did? Nothing! He really earned that tongue lashing from Belevim."

Kanan didn't dare to say anything. When Hera got into one of her rants, the best thing to do was doing nothing at all.

"So at least for four days don't dream about going to Ilum," the Twi'lek continued authoritatively. "Oh, I nearly forgot. Commander Sato has requested your and Ezra's presence as soon as he's awake."

The Jedi, used to her mood swings, just went with the current. "He'll be asleep for hours yet."

"Kanan, it's already morning," the woman informed him. "Around 1030, to be exact."

"What?"

"You too were exhausted. You must have fallen asleep during meditation." Out of the blue, the Twi'lek kissed Kanan's cheek. "You snore, love."

"I don't... Wait, how would you know?" the Jedi got distracted again. Those smooth lips would divert any man's attention, so he really couldn't be blamed because of his short concentration.

Hera smiled fondly at the memory. Ezra, a small bundle on the top bunk had slept like he would have been the most carefree person in the Galaxy. His calm features had showed what he really was: a young teenager. A boy who should have born in a better world.

She had just casted a look at the peaceful face of Kanan when the man, suddenly, had began snoring. It had been soft, barely audible, but snoring nonetheless.

The Jedi she had assumed to be meditating actually had been _sleeping_ on Zeb's bunk.

It had taken all of Hera's willpower not to giggle then and there. Instead, she had quickly closed the door and let her boys having their well deserved rest.

"I've checked on you. You wanted to stay with Ezra for a while, right?"

"He tries to be strong, but he's wavering. He needs help."

"I've already encountered a stubborn, nothing but a mess man, dear," Hera patted Kanan's forearm, laying her head in the crook of his neck.

"And you did a pretty good job with him."

"There are still some things that need a little polishing, but, after so much hard work, he is half-decent now," she boasted playfully, then became serious once more. "Don't worry, dear, I'll take care both of you."

Kanan's lips settled into a hard line for a moment. "There's no need for worrying about me."

"I do worry about you." Hera put her arms around the Jedi's chest. Despite the hug he still felt too far away for her liking. "Ever since coming back, you've distanced yourself from me. Ezra does the same."

"Hera, not now..."

"Then when should we have this conversation, hm?!" The Twi'lek started to get enough from her boys acting like they should solve everything on their own. She didn't even bother to hide her annoyance from her voice. "You're not willing to say anything!"

"Please, Hera. I don't want to argue," the man sighed in exasperation. "Especially not with you."

She was the very last person in the whole Galaxy he should have secrets in front of. If he couldn't say anything to her without fearing the Twi'lek's judgement, then... Then he would be condemned to everlasting loneliness. There were parts of him that only Hera knew. Hidden secrets, painful memories and deep regrets - he had shared all with the Ghost's pilot, baring his soul in front of the woman.

He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he accidentally hurt her with words.

Jedis of the old might have discouraged attachments, but his... bond with Hera had helped him to find the way out of the darkness. The Twi'lek's light had been the one guiding him after Gorse; and now, again, Hera was who kept him sane.

There was a wall, however, which never existed before. That boulder blocked him from opening up to Hera like he always did.

"It pains me to watch your struggling," the woman softened her tone. She didn't want to have a row with Kanan, neither. "Let me help you," she waited for a few heartbeats before she would ask, "How are you, love? Honestly."

Yesterday and the day before Hera never left Kanan's side.

She was there for him during the countless examinations, tests. She embraced him after he received the news about his eyes being past saving.

She accompanied him when he tried to talk with Ezra several times. She stood with him in front of the teenager's hiding place, receiving nothing else than silence.

She helped when he tried to make himself something to eat, but failed to find the proper ingredients. She didn't mother him, merely guided his hand with patient words.

She never made him feel miserable, just was there all along, allowing him to maintain some of his dignity.

So, to Hera's question only one answer existed.

"Better if you're near me."

"Good, because you're stuck with me, love," she said matter of factly. She would never Kanan let go, should happen anything.

'And you with me,' the Jedi wanted to return the words, but he wasn't able to find the strength to tell them. How could he when he was nothing, just a broken, blind, unuseful pile of doubts... Hera deserved much more than that...

She always did.

Then why was the Twi'lek so persistent? Why had she been taking the time and had been giving blood, sweat and tears to fight for him ever since Gorse? What did she see in him worth enough for all the trouble?

"We'll be okay. It's going to be a long road, but we'll," Hera tried to encourage the man.

If Ezra remained persistent about not continuing his Jedi training, Kanan would be left in an empty place, alone once again. And considering that they were practically each other's purpose and beacon, Ezra's rash decision could doom both of them to a disastrous life.

The woman was sure, as long as the two remained close to each other, they could take whatever the Empire or the Dark Side threw at them.

A dam got destroyed somewhere in Kanan. Hera had the right to know about what he had discovered. If anyone, then she would be able to give Ezra emotional support. Because, and the man was absolutely certain of it, the kid soon would have another breakdown.

"I wasn't there to protect him from Maul, and he's going to be the one paying the price of my failure." Finally, he hugged the Twi'lek back, searching for comfort in her warmth and scent. "I wasn't a good Master enough."

"Love?" Here asked worriedly. Something was really wrong, it was clear from how devasted Kanan had became.

A shiver shook the Jedi's body, making his flesh creep. Even to think of what he had felt while sitting on Zeb's bed, waiting for Ezra to fall asleep made his blood run cold. Of course, the changes in the kid already were conspicuous. How could they not be? After what he had experienced, nobody could have remained the same person. However, Kanan had found something more worrisome than Ezra's withdrawn behaviour or newly discovered ways with the Dark Side.

Something that Ezra probably hadn't even noticed yet. Something that brought a lot of anguish for Kanan.

"While he was eating the food Belevim had forced on him, Ezra finally told the details about his time with Maul."

From Kanan's tense posture Hera could tell, during mentioned period something more serious must have happened than opening the Temple.

"As he revealed more and more information, in the exact same pace settled dread over my stomach," the Jedi continued. Although he tried to conceal his pain, its existence was obvious even to his own ears. Well, it was something he should get used to, just like his blindness. "I'm not the only one whom Ezra has a Force bond with. Not anymore."

Hera inhaled sharply, praying for making the wrong conclusion.

"You don't mean..."

"I do," Kanan said gravely. "The feeling of sympathy turned into kinship. The kinship turned into trust. The trust accepted the teaching and the guidance; and, at the end, everything resulted in faith."

Hera, ever the wise and insightful women who she was, quickly connected the dots Kanan left behind.

"A Force bond?"

"A Master-Apprentice one, to be exact," Force, it was so, so painful to say this out loud! "Compared to the connection I share with Ezra, Maul's is weak, immature. Yet it still has a noticeable effect on the kid."

The bond should be severed as soon as possible. Unfortunately, Kanan didn't know how such a thing could be done aside from one of the member's death. Let's face it: Maul seemed to be undestructible. Killing him would be not only one of the hardest thing to do in the Galaxy - if not impossible -, but it also would go against everything Kanan had been taught. Not to mention the impact on Ezra.

Still, they had to come up with a solution. Soon. The question was, where to start? And should he warn Ezra about the new bond, or would it be better to leave him in blissful oblivion for a while? Which option would cause less damage in the end?

Kanan had regretted to take Ezra to Malachor. If he would have gone there only with Ahsoka, the kid staying behind on Atollon... But as he had said to him, the past couldn't be changed.

They had to cope with the current situation...

"Can't you break it?"

Kanan shook is head at Hera's suggestion. "No. But it has to be done somehow before Ezra would feel like being torn apart."

From experience the man knew, the most tough people's explosion could cause the most damage.

The kid had endured many things. The streets and the Empire had hardened him enough to be able survive the life's obstacles. So would something ever throw him over the edge, Kanan feared the consequences. And, because of Maul, they got dangerously close to that abyss.

"Was yesterday's Ezra like that because of his bond with Maul?"

"I believe, the Zabrak had a huge role. Ezra was emotionally vulnerable, almost broken. It would be enough to give in the Dark Side, but his connection with Maul and the Holocron's influence... I've never doubted the kid's stubbornness, but the willpower he possesses is incomprehensible."

"Willpower is enough?" the Twi'lek furrowed her brows. "Because I remember what you told me about Fort Anaxes."

"I've a theory, but..." Kanan suddenly stiffened, hands sliding off from Hera's. After three determined steps - it turned out he was pretty good at memorizing distance in steps - he stood in front of the door's controlling panel. "But the person in question is right at the other side." He pushed the proper button to reveal the teenager, who, judging from his trembling presence in the Force, heard enough to be aware of the situation's gravity.

Ezra seemed so fragile, so young! Sometimes they forgot, he was only a teenager. He would have his own insecurities even without the war or being Force sensitive.

Her Specter Six's ghostly pale complexion and wide eyes caused the mother in Hera to take control instantly. Passing by Kanan she enveloped the boy in a strong, yet gentle embrace, not bothered at all by the weak protest she got from him.

Kanan couldn't help but sigh as he felt the Lothian eventually became less tense.

The duality of Hera's personality never ceased to amaze the Jedi. She was a tough woman; actually, one of the toughest he had ever met. She would shoot TIE Fighters, sneak into Star Destroyers and give orders that no one sound in mind would query. Yet, show her a troubled teenage boy, and she would be doting on him, nursing his soul without question.

Her caring side would make her a wonderful parent one day. No wonder she had been dealing so efficiently with their mismatched family.

Kanan checked Ezra's presence in the Force. It wasn't exactly calm, but compared to the last few days' restlessness, the difference was still significant.

He definitely found some kind of peace in Hera's embrace.

The improvement filled the Jedi's heart with even more love toward the Twi'lek, if it was possible at all.

Incredible. That what Hera Syndulla truly was.

 **SWR**

 **Okay, in the next chapter there will be a few revelations, I promise. (For example, why Commander Sato asked for Kanan and Ezra.)**

 **Also, who requested a Darth Vader chapter: I've been working on it. I don't know where to put it in yet (well, once I finished it), but you'll get it.**

 **Question: Would you like to have a little Belevim scene in the next chapter (the good, terrifying doctor), or should I not make him appear personally? I already have an OC, and some of you might not want another one.**

 **Okay, now I take my leave. I babbled enough.**

 **Bye!**


End file.
